


Barnes, You're Gonna be the Death of me

by CelticTreeHugger



Category: Captain America (Movies), MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Avenger Bucky Barnes, Avenger Reader (Marvel), Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Hydra can eat a dick, Snarky Bucky Barnes, Snarky Reader, Strong Female Characters, Violence, threats of sexual assault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-04-27 16:12:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 42,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14429340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelticTreeHugger/pseuds/CelticTreeHugger
Summary: You and Bucky have been at each other's throats since the moment you met a year ago. Knock-down, drag out fights between two of Hydra's former successful experiments puts a lot of strain on the Avengers and they decide to intervene.That intervention being that they force the two of you out on a mission together. One that ends in disaster, and not the sort of disaster that you both expected.Can you come to terms with your feelings for one another and survive Hydra trying to reclaim their Assets?(Sexual themes in ch 8 and ch 11, if you are here for that...or just trying to avoid it lol.)





	1. Coffee and Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> Later chapters will contain violence and smut. First chapters just set the mood. This is my second fic and I'm trying out a slightly different writing style. :) Tags will be updated as we progress.
> 
> Comments and Kudos always appreciated, enjoy! <3

“Get the fuck over yourself, Barnes.” You snapped as you brushed past him in the common area. The man was endlessly infuriating, pushing every button at every opportunity he got.  He seemed to bring out the worst in you, the temper you controlled so tightly. The two of you had come to blows more times than you could count, scuffling on the floor and cursing at one another until Rogers pulled you apart. Conflicting personalities. As a general rule, you were warm, pleasant with a razor sharp wit. Bucky Barnes was prickly, distant and cold to everyone but Steve. 

He seemed particularly so to you, in spite of the fact the two of you had a lot in common. Both of you had been subjected to horrible things at the hands of Hydra. A year earlier, you had been located and recruited by the Avengers. A chance you had leapt at, wanting to make up for the horrible things you’d been forced to do. After being kidnapped by Hydra as a teenager, you had been advanced physically with a serum like what had been used on Bucky. 

But they didn't stop there, using you as a lab rat for experimental serums and drugs. One of which left you able read minds and the moods of other people. You could, with effort, slightly alter thoughts and moods and even make people forget that they had ever seen you. A talent that made you a particularly excellent infiltrator. And one that had helped you escape in the chaotic aftermath of Captain America thwarting Hydra's plans for Project Insight.

Bucky was exceptionally touchy about anything regarding altering a person’s mind. And you completely understood why. You were sympathetic to what he had suffered. But what pissed you off the most is that the stubborn fucker refused to see that you used your abilities to help people, not break them as he had been broken. 

The first time you’d met him, his lips had turned up ever so slightly. Blue eyes sparkling with curiosity and interest. You had smiled back, convinced that he was probably one of the most attractive men you’d ever seen. Metal arm or no... he was rough, chiseled and beautiful in the most masculine of ways. The fact he exuded a "will snap your neck and steal your girl" vibe made him even more appealing in your eyes.

Your eyes and his had locked together across the room, and you had sensed the attraction he felt for you. Oddly, you could not pick up on any of his thoughts. As if you needed to, his eyes said it all. 

Then Tony introduced you. As was his habit, he gestured and rambled, running on about your history and abilities. Bucky’s eyes had grown cold and things had deteriorated rapidly from there.

“Any asshole that messes with someone’s head for a living deserves a bullet in theirs.” Was what he had said to you, icy eyes boring into yours. A comment so far from how he first reacted to you that you had stared at him like an idiot for a moment. What the hell had just happened? Then you’d promptly told him to get fucked and walked away before your temper got the better of you.

***

Until Barnes showed up, it had been a peaceful, quiet morning in the tower. You’d had the kitchen and common area to yourself for the first blissful hour of the day. Absorbed in a warm cup of coffee and a bagel, you flipped through the pages of a magazine that was probably one of Natasha’s. 

The rising sun had spilled into the large windows, illuminating every surface in soft yellow. Warmth kissed your skin as the rays filtered in, a welcome sensation since you were barefoot and in shorts. The New York City skyline glowed in the distance and the faint sounds of traffic carried up to you from the streets below. Manhattan was far from your childhood home in California, but you had grown to love it.

Sam had eventually shuffled in quietly, grabbing a bag of cereal and eating handfuls of it dry. He peered at you with a question in his eyes as he gestured sleepily at the partly filled coffee pot. You’d nodded at him and he practically lit the room up with his smile. He needed all the coffee he could get to keep up with Steve on his runs. An early morning run was why you figured you hadn’t yet seen the Captain; he was always up before God himself.

Tony had wandered in shortly after, bypassing the coffee pot and going straight to the bar. His hair was disheveled and he was covered in grease. All tell-tale signs that he had been pounding Redbulls and tinkering in his lab overnight. The clink of glass on glass echoed in the quiet room as he poured himself a drink. A shared look between you and Sam had both of you snickering. 

Nat and Clint were next a few minutes later, the latter swiping the uneaten half of your bagel as he passed. You swatted at him and he chuckled, taking a massive bite. Sam nudged you as he sat down in the empty chair to your left and offered the bag of Lucky Charms he was devouring. You'd taken a handful, laughing under your breath. Banner made his way in and flopped on a sofa, oblivious to his surroundings as he stared into the screen of his Starkpad. He'd smiled softly as Natasha had taken a seat next to him, pressed into his side while Clint went over to harass Tony. 

Soft, muted conversations created a peaceful lull. Occasionally the lull was punctuated with quips from Tony and squawks of indignation from Clint. Sam stayed seated next to you, sharing the nearly empty bag of cereal. You were close to everyone here, excluding Barnes. They were all easy to love, filled with their own quirks that you loved learning about. But Sam...Sam was your best buddy. The two of you had been inseparable since you'd arrived. Contentedly, you'd sipped your coffee, nibbled your dry cereal and enjoyed the company of your friends. You really did enjoy your new life and your new job. These people were like family now.  

Aaaaand then you’d felt him. Barnes. Awake. Nearby. And in one incredibly shit-tastic mood. 

_"Greaaat. Lets see if he can start a fight with me AND cause a Code Green in a single day again."_ You almost groaned audibly at the thought. The last fight he started had ended with both of you beating each other bloody while Hulk hulked his way through the tower. It had taken half the team to subdue you and Bucky while Natasha corralled and calmed Banner. Tony had given the three of you no end of grief for his trashed lab and all the expense of renovations. 

Bracing yourself, you peered towards the door as he strode through it like a man ready to commit murder. Brown hair hung in his face, dark circles lined his eyes and he wore only shorts and a tank top. Clearly, he hadn't slept again. _“Nightmares again.”_ You thought with a teeny, tiny twinge of sympathy deep in your gut.

Turning to shift your attention to Sam, you hoped to avoid an argument. Bucky usually decided to pick a fight with you after his dreams plagued him. Too late. You felt his glare.

"The hell you lookin' at, Y/L/N?" You met his cold stare with one of your own, sympathy giving way to annoyance. Trying to keep an even tone, you replied. "Not a morning person, obviously." 

"I might be if I didn't have to walk in here and see you at the ass crack of dawn." 

He went to pour himself of a cup of coffee, cursing under his breath when he saw the empty pot. "Sonofabitch. You drank it all, Y/N, really?" 

The Falcon chugged back his cup before Bucky could commandeer it and grinned at him. "Hey man, she had help. Shoulda got your butt up sooner." Sam had an awkward, strained frenemy sort of relationship with their resident amnesiac assassin. One day they were cool, the next they hated one another. "God damn...why do I even bother..." The former assassin growled in response.

"And I thought I was a dick without coffee." "Shut up bird brain." Sam held up his hands in mock defense and peered at you. Your pinched facial expression said all he needed to know: Barnes had started too early with you. 

"Ya know Barnes, coffee is the least of your concerns....A strong drink, a good lay and to chill the hell out should be priorities. Then you might _almost_ be tolerable." The words came out as an annoyed sigh.

His mouth turned up devilishly, but his eyes were piercing and cold. He turned towards the bar. "Hey, Stark! Wanna pour a guy a drink?" Tony was suddenly fascinated with his Scotch, lips pulled into a tight line of feigned concentration. No way in _HELL_ was he getting involved in this shit, this early.

Bucky returned his attention to you, smirking. "So ya wanna help me with a bit of that list, doll? God knows you'd be a lot more pleasant with your mouth too full to-"

"Bucky, ENOUGH!" Barnes' mouth snapped shut. Even Sam sat up straighter in his chair. That authoritative, firm Captain America tone _did_ have that effect on people. Rogers was too late to spare his pal from your anger though. You had no idea why he had to always go after you but you'd had enough of his shit.

Your empty coffee cup missed Bucky's head by a fraction of an inch as he flinched out of the way. Said cup shattered on the wall behind him. Pieces of ceramic rained down on the floor with sharp clinks. Bruce made a beeline for the door, trying to avoid another Code Green and nearly colliding with Thor. The big Asgardian hung back, grinning. He did love a good fight, claiming the bickering reminded him of home.

"What the fuck is your problem huh? You strut around here like Magilla fuckin' Gorilla, starting fights with nobody else but me and I've never done anything to you."

You'd marched up and were an inch from his face, so close that you could feel his warm breath on your cheeks. The earthy, warm scent of his flesh drifted to your nose. Your chest bumped into his in challenge.

"Go on then Barnes. You clearly wanna fight, so lets get this over with." Those impossibly blue eyes bored into you and you could feel conflicting emotions. Anger. Something bordering on hatred, something that bordered on grudging admiration for your gall. Lust.

That last emotion stunned you a bit. Smirking at the realization, you lifted your left eyebrow. "Ohhh so thats it huh? You'd rather fuck me than fight me?"

Muffled laugher from Thor was cut off with a grunt as if he'd been elbowed in the ribs. A quick glance showed you that he probably had been. Steve stood next to him, frowning.

"Get the fuck outta my head, Y/N, I'm warning you." You stared at him, anger vying with sympathy. Hydra had really screwed this man up.

"Maybe if you'd stop punishing ME for what THEY did to you, I could help you. I would ya know. Even if you are an insufferable asshole." Your voice softened slightly. Deep down, you meant it. He'd been through hell... You'd help him, if he let you.

"Shove off. I had seventy years of assholes controlling my mind. The last thing I need is one of their science experiments dickin' around in my head!" Blue eyes bored into yours as he yelled in your face before he shoved you back.

Steve and Natasha grabbed him about the same time Sam and Thor were on you. They knew this drill all too well. You shook them off and stalked from the room, roughly brushing past Barnes on the way out.

Steve had finally had enough. And you heard him telling Bucky so in his very best Cap voice as you stormed away. "You need somethin' pal, because she's right. You started punishing her the minute she got here for somethin' she didn't do." 


	2. I'd Rather Shoot Myself in the Foot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers style intervention...and shit goes sideways fast.

“No, abso-fucking-lutely not!” Barnes shouted at the same time you shook your head. “Nope. Noooope, not gonna happen. I’d rather shoot myself in the foot.” You pulled the handgun from it’s holster under your arm and twirled it around your finger. “I’ll do it right now if it gets me outta this.” A metal hand clanged down onto the table in annoyance as he glared at you.

Thirty minutes prior, Tony had sent out the call for everyone to assemble in the big conference room. You were expecting either a hell of a field trip/mission for all of you. Or to be forced to kiss the asses of visiting dignitaries. Nothing could have prepared you for what was really about to go down. 

An Avengers version of an intervention, like something right off of a shitty reality TV show. Except this was real life. _Your life._

And if that wasn’t enough? They’d dragged Fury into it. The minute you saw Nick seated at the head of that conference table, you knew something bad was about to happen. The way he pinned you and Barnes with a baleful glare, made even more intimidating by the fact that this was Nicholas Fucking Fury. And Barnes had tried to kill him twice before...no way had he just let that go... His voice brought you back to the exceptionally unpleasant situation at hand. 

“Y/L/N, Barnes. This isn’t up for debate. This mission requires skills you both have, and you two need to get over this…whatever the hell this is…and learn to work together. You’re Avengers now. Act. Like. It.” He intoned, full on deadpan expression. Bucky kept up his protest, seemingly never understanding when to simply shut his face.

"If ya gotta send me with one of the head fucks, send me with the weird one. Not the bitchy one.” 

If looks could kill, the glare Wanda was giving him would have reduced him to a pile of ash. Her softly accented voice rose over his and the murmurs of your colleagues. “If you didn’t antagonize her and hate her for no reason, you might be surprised. Nobody else has a problem except you...says a lot about you doesn't it?"

You piped up next, angry that he had insulted someone as sweet and thoughtful as Wanda. “And she’s weird? Dude you spent most of the last century crammed into a glorified refrigerator, killing people whenever you woke up like some fucked up Sleeping Beauty story. You have a metal arm and anger issues that rival Banner’s." 

You waved an apologetic wave at Bruce and he nodded. "No offense man, you know we love you." Pinning Bucky with a pointed glare, you continued. "People in glass houses should not throw stones.” Thor snickered, and just like a few days ago, his ribs became acquainted with Steve’s elbow. 

“Get fucked, Y/N.” Bucky growled. A smirk pulled at your lips. “Oh sweetheart, we already had this talk. I’ll pass.” Your voice was thick with irony and as sweet as honey. Thor, Tony and Sam chortled and even Steve bit his lips to stifle a grin. Sometimes the commentary between you two was worth the hassle of constant arguments 

Fury was not amused and stood up, stalking around to gaze out of the large window. “The rest of the team is going to be picking off Hydra bases in the near future, but they need to be weakened and scrambling first. The two of you _will_ infiltrate and disable their suppliers and sources of income, each and every one in that dossier.” He gestured without looking to the thick file in the middle of the table.

“You’re both liabilities on the front lines because of your history with these bastards so you will be shadows. You know how that works. You have a duty, you will see to it." 

***

And that was how you ended up stuck in a quinjet with a man you wanted to strangle, bound for HillBillyVille, Kansas. Ok, that wasn’t actually the name but you didn’t care. You had been to Kansas before, and even the cities like Wichita and Kansas City smelled like dirt and cow dung. “An odd place for manufacturing drugs…” Bucky mumbled. “Not a lot out there. Plenty of places to hide meth-labs. Lotta wannabe Walter Whites after Breaking Bad came out....” A grunt was your only response. 

You leaned back and thumped your head against the seat as he piloted the craft. It was early evening and you were somewhere over the plains. Or at least you thought you were. The scenery below was actually sort of pretty, green and gold as far as the eye could see. You’d flipped through the dossier, noting the varied locations that you’d be hitting. And the places you’d be resting your head. Sharing a room with Bucky Barnes. This was not going to be a short assignment. If he hadn't been such an ass...you'd have been excited. Ass though he was, he was an attractive ass. A very attractive ass. 

You decided, for probably the thousandth time, to try civility with him. Playing nice was going to be the only way to survive this mission with your sanity in tact. "So how'd ya learn to fly this thing? You don't seem all that interested in technology." He didn't even look at you. Or seem to acknowledge you. So you sighed and looked back at the dossier in your hands. It was several minutes before he cleared his throat and responded.

"I'm better with weapons than tech...and I don't like shit that's unnecessarily complicated. I mean...look at Stark's showboaty crap versus Wakanda's. He shows off...they have no need. It's straight forward and effective. Advanced, but it speaks for itself." You nodded slowly. "That's true for some stuff I guess. Especially anything Tony makes. He does like to show off." He flicked his eyes over to you and then back the instrument panel, and you sensed a small bit of surprise from him. He didn't expect you to agree with him. You knew he kind of missed Wakanda; they'd been good to him there.

Bucky was silent for another minute before he spoke again. "I learned to fly when I was...when Hydra had me. The quinjets and helicopters are fairly simple. And I always liked planes. They were still sort of a novelty when I was growin' up." He scratched at the stubble on his chin awkwardly, clearly at a loss for how to have a conversation with you. 

You smiled softly, imagining a child Bucky oooing and ahhhing over planes. "My dad used to take me to air shows when I was little...it always amazed me something so big could fly. The Airforce sometimes puts on shows with the fighter jets. It's really somethin' to see." Surprisingly Bucky returned your smile. "Don't let Clint know you're admiring other pilots and planes...you'll break his heart."

You honestly couldn't believe this civility shit was half ass working but you were gonna keep going with it. You hated that Barnes hated you, and you hated that you couldn't hate him back. You wanted a friend that understood what you had been through. "Tell ya what Buckaroo, you keep my secret...I'll make sure Sam doesn't drink all the coffee before you get up from now on." He smirked a little and brushed a loose tendril of brown hair out of his eyes. "Y/L/N...Ya gotta deal." He didn't even jump your ass for the nick name? Thats it...you were certain you'd just slipped into the Twilight Zone.

An obnoxiously loud beeping sound paired with a sudden jerk of the jet nearly gave you a heart attack. You sat up and glanced around, gripping your seat as another shudder shook the helicarrier. “The hell is that?” Barnes glared at you before turning his attention back to the instrument panel. “It’s a problem, that’s what it is.” 

“No shit Sherlock, what _kind_ of a problem!?” He was flipping switches and slamming his hands down on buttons. The aircraft was still shuddering around you. “The kind that kills our comms, GPS and shuts down one of the damned engines!"

Cold chills spread up your spine at his words. You knew what those things had in common. They all meant that someone had tampered with your craft. It was the same variety of sabotage you’d done in another life. “Fuck, fuck! Fuck me sideways!” The words spilled out of your mouth as you scrambled back towards one of the control panels. If you could just get the engine back up… 

“Not exactly somethin’ I can do at this particular moment, darlin’.” His voice carried faintly to you as he jerked at the controls and tried to keep the bird in the air. 

“SHUT UP, BARNES!” you bellowed as the craft lurched to the side. You were torn away from the panel, away from your attempt to fix whatever shit someone had so kindly broken for you. Yep, you were gonna die on this rickety bird, with Barnes of all people. You felt a metal hand grab the back of your suit and jerk you towards him, a parachute shoved into your hands. “Grab what you can, and get into this. NOW!” For once, you did not argue with him and did as he instructed. 

You’d shrugged into the parachute, grabbed your bag and his, which he took from you. Meeting his eyes, you saw the same panic you felt. He knew what this was too. Instinctively, you grabbed for his hand and he grasped your fingers tightly. Time froze for a moment as you stared at one another, hand in hand, knowing shit was about to go pear-shaped worse than you ever imagined. 

The craft lurched again, nearly upright and in that moment, Bucky decided this was your chance. He ripped the door off, a deafening metalic screech piercing your ears and he squeezed your hand. The two of you jumped out into the evening sky, hurtling down towards God-only-knew what sort of trouble below. 


	3. That's Just Great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get stranded with Bucky, which is awkward. Tony is a bit of a shit, which is expected. Bickering permeates this chapter, because of course it does. XD
> 
> Both of my fics have been updated this evening, if you fancy a bit of reading! :)

“Their bird just went off the grid.” Steve stormed into Stark’s lab. He really hadn’t agreed with the plan to send Y/N and Bucky out together, but he’d been over-ruled. And honestly, something did need to give before someone died or the tower was brought down on everybody’s heads. Or before the animosity jeopardized the team because you were fighting one another rather than enemies during some unforeseen catastrophic event. But this? This was a catastrophic event all on it’s own.

 Stark didn’t even look up from the suit he was working on, bobbing his head to the beat of the rock music that echoed in the lab. “Stark!” “Mmhmm.” Letting out a sigh, Steve snatched the wrench out of his hand and threw it at the Starkpad that controlled the music. A loud crash echoed, sounds of broken glass tinkling to the concrete followed. Tony was still hunched over, peering at the suit with an annoyed expression. 

 Silence reigned until Rogers spoke again. “Could you pay attention and be serious for like, five seconds?"

“Five, four-“ 

Nat butted in. “Shut the hell up Tony, this is bad.” Tony whirled around in his chair, grease and dirt smeared on his face and leaned back. He wove his fingers together behind his head and observed the half-assembled team in front of him. The corner of his mouth twitched. “ _That_ is coming out of your salary, Stars ‘n Stripes.” He jerked his head towards the shattered glass on his desk and floor. A silent frown was the only response he received.

"Anyway. This is what was supposed to happen. So Frosty and Sunshine learn to play nice and stop trying to slaughter each other in our nice, renovated tower.” Sam raised an eyebrow; he knew Stark was still heated about the damage to his lab and this mission was equal parts punishment, intervention and necessity. 

He understood, being that he was still annoyed about his ruined car, the broken wings, and the excessively over-the-top assassination attempt he got dragged into.  In his opinion, Barnes deserved his licks. But honestly, he didn’t want either of you killed.  Especially not you. You were his friend. His breakfast buddy; you always had coffee ready in time for him to go run behind Steve. 

“Since when is “transport vanishes into thin air while carrying bitter rivals to mission” considered what is supposed to happen?” Ah, there was that Captain America tone again. “God Rogers, you are such a buzzkill. THIS WAS THE PLAN.” 

Wilson snapped his fingers at the greasy billionaire. “Wait. Wait. Hold up, man. You mean…you sent them into the field, and let that thing go down _ON PURPOSE_?” Sam was about ready to clock Tony if he was insinuating what he thought he was. He’d had more than his share of friends getting killed in the air on missions. He missed Riley every day, and didn’t have any desire to add your face to the ones that haunted him at night. 

“At least bird-man here is sharp.” Tony lackadaisically spun around in his chair, foot kicking at the floor. 

Romanov ran a hand through her hair. “What about the mission, Stark? You know, the one involving the two of them crippling Hydra?” 

"Oh those targets aren’t related to Hydra at all.” The chair came to a stop as Rogers stepped closer to Tony and grabbed it. “Excuse me?” Blue eyes were cold as ice and his bicep bulged slightly in frustration. 

“Ok Tall, Blonde and Righteous. Do we need to send you to medical to get your ears cleaned? Targets are legit, not Hydra affiliated. Bird down on purpose. We'll let 'em stew, pick 'em up in a few days and let them get back to cracking skulls. Consider it a team-building exercise.” Stark was grinning as he stood up from his chair and wandered over to his mini-fridge, pulling out a can of Redbull. He’d only just cracked the top when Wilson swatted it out of his hand. With a hiss and a spray of fizz, the can sailed across the room and splattered the floor with it’s contents.

“You are outta your god-damn mind.” He spat as Rogers put a calming hand on his shoulder. “What is it with you people today? Throwing things all over my lab? That's MY job." 

***

Everything hurt. Especially your head. And you didn’t recognize where you were. The ground was hard and covered in…straw? Moldy straw. Fan-freakin-tastic. Glancing upwards, you saw that rusted metal grating and concrete made up the ceiling. Parts had crumbled away and you could see a dark sky filled with stars stretching beyond the ceiling. “What, where…” You ran your hand over your face, wincing at the pressure. 

“I have _got_ to stay out of Thor’s fancy Asgardian liquor. Always ends like this.” A disgusted snort to your left caught your attention and you peered over. Bucky? Why was Barnes... 

And then it all came flooding back to you. No Norse God and his overly-strong hooch was responsible for this. This was a mission. The shitty one with you being forced to work with with a cranky centennial assassin who hated your guts. The one you had only just started to get to lighten up when the jet...fuck! The quinjet! Leaping into the sky, clutching Bucky’s hand....that was the last thing you recalled. 

“Sonofabitch.” You breathed as you sat up and groaned. “Easy there. You got broken ribs.” His voice was surprisingly civil. “You dragged me in here?” He nodded. “You were out like a light. Probably bashed your head on the landing.” 

You offered a half smile. “Thank you...” A metal hand waved you off but you saw the almost-smile he fought down. More, you felt a small wave of bashful glee emanate from him at your unexpected gratitude. _“Aww, who knew the icy bastard was capable of being bashful?”_ You thought before returning your mind to the situation you were in. 

“Bucky, where are we?” Your voice came out softer, more timid than you planned on. “An abandoned grain silo…” His husky voice trailed off, full of sarcasm. As if it were obvious and you were as dense as the concrete walls around you. So much for that civility; he fell back into old habits faster than Thor scarfed down Poptarts. 

“I see that, you snarky tit! I meant _where_ as in on a map where.”  He shrugged nonchalantly. As if falling out of the sky from a sabotaged aircraft, lost in the middle of nowhere with your worst enemy was just another typical day. “Your guess is as good as mine. Been waiting for you to get your ass up and try to get the comms back up. Way outta my field of expertise."

He set a mangled device in your lap.  Confusion whirled in your aching head, right before your stomach sank. “Barnes. That…that’s not…” You sighed. “Where, no…what is this?” He snorted at you again and pointed at your lap. “That there is the gadget you fix and use to tell Stark to fly his big red ass here and pick us up." 

That was what you figured, based on your last conversation and his typical interests.. He had been too busy staring fights with you, shooting things at the range and being a recluse in his room to learn about the cutting edge technology you guys worked with on the daily. And it finally caught up with him. At the most incredibly inopportune time. 

“No, no it’s not. That is a detonator.” You pointed at it where it sat on your lap. “Not a phone, not a radio, not one of Tony’s overly complicated communication devices. That there sets off bombs, Gramps.” 

His eyes narrowed at you and then he looked back at the mangled gadget. “You sure?” “GOD-DAMN IT, BARNES. Yes, I’m sure. Gimme the bags.” 

Surprisingly, he did not argue with you. The small go bags you’d snatched up before your ride became a smoldering pile in a field should have your phones in them.  Or at least yours; he always forgot his. He never even used the thing...he didn't have anybody to talk to outside of the tower anyway.

Aaaand they didn’t. You pawed frantically through ammunition, rations, a change of clothes. You even opened the first aid kit and rifled through it. Someone had gone through your bags before you boarded the aircraft. Who would have access to your things? “Problem?” His deep voice both annoyed and calmed you. 

“A lot of 'em, actually. But at the moment, it’s that someone went through my shit and took my phone before we left.” Consternation filled his face and he grabbed your bag, searching through it for confirmation. His face reddened slightly as he quickly tossed aside a few pairs of your panties. He dumped his own on the floor and shifted through it’s contents, hoping your phone had ended up in his bag somehow. Because he left his on his nightstand at the tower. As usual.

“So we get sabotaged, fall outta the sky, have no means to communicate…and I grabbed a fuckin’ _detonator_ to call for help with…That’s just great.” 

You tapped his left arm and he glowered at you. “Remember that this new and improved appendage has a tracker in it? To keep tabs on you so you’d behave?” His glowering became more intense and you pointedly ignored it. Everything hurt and you were too tired to fight him. “They have to know we’re grounded by now…. We’re just gonna have to chill and wait for someone to come give us a lift."

You shifted back on your moldy straw, using your bag as a pillow. Pain shot across your chest as the broken ribs shifted. They’d heal in a couple of days, but that was little consolation when breathing too deep felt like being stabbed. Bucky noticed your wince of pain and you were jealous at the lack of damage on him. Scrapes and cuts. Dirt on his face, bits of grass in his hair. But mostly sound. 

“I’ll take first watch. Sleep will help that heal.” His voice was quiet, gentle even. It echoed through the concrete room despite the softness of it. You reached out with your mind, feeling his concern. “Thanks…Wake me in a few hours and we’ll switch.” Trying to ignore the niggling warmth you felt towards his grumpy ass, you closed your eyes to try to sleep. 


	4. Not so Hopeless After all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the next will be a little dark...but night is always darkest before the dawn. ;)
> 
> You're still stranded, Bucky has nightmares...and some of the animosity might tapering off with the two of you forced to cooperate. Too bad Tony's plans never go off without a hitch!

Astonishingly, Bucky did as you asked. It was the wee hours when he shook you awake and took your place on the moldy straw. It stank to high heaven but was better than solid concrete. Even a crappy hotel room shared with Barnes and his snoring would have been preferable to these accommodations. While he slept, you prowled around and got a good bearing on your current lodgings. 

In the middle of nowhere, as you suspected. Abandoned, just as Bucky had told you. Clearly used as a dump site for the local farmers…old hay bales, broken equipment and miscellaneous parts were strewn about. Birds had made nests in the rafters and you eyed them warily. “Hope I don’t get shit on…talk about the straw that broke the camel’s back…” you whispered to yourself in the darkness. The metal grating was rusted and screeched in the wind that blew through holes in the concrete walls. Plenty of vermin scurried about, drawn by remnants of old grain and easy shelter.

 _Not the most welcoming place…_ you thought as you stalked the shadows. You peered from a doorway into the night, searching for any lights in the distance that indicated civilization. Cities and towns caused light pollution and would give you a place to head for in the morning if any were nearby. Unfortunately, you saw nothing. Sighing, you resigned yourself to staying in this crumbling old silo with Bucky until someone showed up to give you a lift. Deep in your gut, you were on edge. If this was Hydra’s doing…they’d be turning up soon too. 

You had weapons, you were both living weapons capable of defending yourselves. But panic roiled in your chest anyway. Alone. In the middle of nowhere. With only a mentally unstable former-assassin as your back up was not where you wanted to be if they came knocking.

Your thoughts wandered to home. Not the tower, to the house you grew up in. Your fingers rubbed at the locket around your neck, filled with pictures of your family. When stressed, your thoughts always returned to home …you missed it. Especially in moments like this, where the noise of Manhattan and the company of your friends didn’t keep you distracted. Home and memories of your family had been the shining beacon in the darkness that kept you going after you were captured. By the time you made your escape, your father had passed but your mom was alive. She and your sister were still in California. What you wouldn’t give to see them again, considering Hydra might be coming to kill or attempt to recapture you. Idly, you wondered if Barnes had any living relatives left.

The sound of a voice caught your attention, and you pulled the gun you kept with you. Listening, hardly daring the breathe, you heard it again. A whimper. You reached out with your mind, only sensing dread. But whose? Anybody planning on attacking you two definitely had a reason to feel dread...both of you had a score to settle. Silently, you high-tailed it back to Barnes, ready to rouse him to help you. _Hey, if someone is out there ready to pounce, kickin’ their ass should put him in a good mood…._   You told yourself as you scuttled though the darkness.

You rounded a dark corner, squinting into the gloom. Nothing and nobody in sight. Easing over towards Barnes, you heard him gasp. “No, NO!” It was him you had heard. Dreaming. Not good ones, by the sound of it. You decided waking him was better than letting him suffer; he needed to be as stable as possible for the mess you were in. And nightmares ripping apart his mind while he slept was not going to be conducive to that.

As gently as you could, you laid your hand on his shoulder. “Barnes? Hey, Bucky. Wake up man, it’s a-“ A cold hand wrapped around your throat as he jerked awake. Stunned, you didn’t utter a sound and he stared at you for a moment. Your faces were inches apart and you could see panic written all over his face. It rolled off of him and assaulted all of your senses. He was pure tension. Pure fear. His eyes were dark, wild, terrified and his mouth worked soundlessly. The hand released your throat and he laid his head in his hands as he sat up. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare the pants off ya. You were dreaming and I thought-“ You were cut off in shock when he grabbed ahold of your hand. “I see everything they did to me. All over again. I feel it every time I dream. You ever deal with shit like that?” 

His voice was strained, and yours came out soft, sad as you replied. Even you were stunned at the words that fell from your lips. “More often than I wanna admit. What they did…it’s not just skin deep, not just the body that it effects. Their filth is even seared into my soul.” Admitting weakness, baring a tiny bit of your scarred heart to this man? You must have hit your head harder than you thought.

The eyes that met yours were filled with pain, and a trace of understanding. At that moment, you wished he’d let you help him. You could alter his mood, take away the anxiety and the stress. But he didn’t trust you, and he clung to his pain like it was a life-raft in the ocean keeping him from drowning. The stubborn damned idiot couldn’t see that his pain was what was _really_ drowning him. He looked away again, sensing your appraisal of his expression.

You decided to take a chance. His hand was in yours; your abilities were always amplified by skin to skin contact so you had the connection you needed to work. Taking a deep, quiet breath, you subtly pushed calm into him. Bit by agonizing bit. Your will gently pressed against his own, wearing it as slowly and surely as water wore rock. Minutes stretched and the silence was deafening. The mental strain was quickly tiring you out, your head beginning to ache from the effort. But you felt the tension melt, anxiety become calm. Pain dulled. His breathing evened and he glanced up at you. 

“What the hell did you do?” Your eyes met his. “What you shoulda let me do a long time ago.” 

You felt anger vying with another indescribable emotion in him. “Told you to stay outta my head, Y/L/N.” His voice didn’t sound as harsh as it would have back at the tower and he still clutched your fingers. You pulled your hand out of his and smoothed your hair.  “You already know I don’t listen. And I honestly don’t like seeing you like this, when I can help. I don’t actually hate you, impossible fuck that you are.”

Confusion, overwhelming confusion assaulted your senses then. Even blotting out his momentary anger. He looked away. “So that’s how it works? You just touch someone and BAM. Emotions change?” You shook your head. ”It’s difficult and takes a lot of effort for me to press thoughts or emotions on people so I don't do it much… I mostly just read people.” The confusion still remained, tinged with guilt. _Why guilt?_ You wondered.

“Why don’t you hate me?” THAT question took you out of left field. You had an answer but it was awkward to say it aloud, though your mouth spilled it before you could stop it. “Because you’re like me. You suffered at the hands of the same sadistic assholes. I don’t blame you for how you feel, only how you act on those feelings. I read about you, the man you were before...” You saw him peeking at you from the corner of his eye, the barest hint of disbelief in his eyes. “…And I firmly believe you are capable of better than your usual behavior these days.”

Things had just gotten too deep, dark for you right now, too despairing. So your next words were meant to rib him and lighten the mood. “Hell, 1940’s Bucky Barnes _might_ have gotten my help with that list of things I told you that you needed to be tolerable.” You winked at him and felt his wave of embarrassment slam into you.

At that, he huffed and got up to stroll the perimeter. You could feel the overwhelming sensation of his emotions. Anger, worry, confusion, guilt, curiosity, an unwanted attraction…and oddly, respect. Your mouth quirked; maybe, just maybe, he might not be so hopeless after all.


	5. Move Your Ass, Barnes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of the previous chapter from Bucky's POV...and the shit hits the fan. Because we all knew it was going to!

This had to be the most infuriating situation he could remember being in since regaining his freedom. Stuck here, with someone who most certainly hated him and he really didn’t like her. Or so he kept telling himself. No comms, no way out until someone came by for them. Being sabotaged, stranded and stuck with her was just too much. What she was capable of was just too close of a reminder of what he’d suffered for seventy years: people who could take someone’s mind away and bend them to their will.

Deep down, he was just _knew_ Hydra was responsible for their situation. This sort of shit was definitely part of their MO. He’d seen the terror in Y/N’s eyes as they prepared to jump from the helicarrier; she suspected the same thing. He would die before he let them re-capture him, break him down and mold them into their tool again. He'd fought too hard to get to where he was today. And being here, possibly facing them with someone he didn’t exactly trust wore his nerves down. How could he fight his former captors with HER? What if she turned on him to save her own skin?

Common sense argued with deep-seated paranoia in his mind. She’d never been anything but professional and helpful in the field, never given any indication she had an ulterior motive. Just like everybody else, she fought and bled for her team and the world. Celebrated at victories and if he were honest with himself, he knew she took defeats harder than most of them did.

She had a smart mouth, but usually only to him. That was _definitely_ his fault, if he were to continue being honest with himself. The team seemed to like her, and seeing her laugh so easily with each one of them made him jealous. Most people just avoided him. Steve was his only friend, and occasionally Sam tolerated his presence. The Falcon was still brooding over his car…and the fact Bucky had tried to kill him more than once. He suspected the effort he put forth to be civil was a favor to Steve more than anything. James Buchanan Barnes was the pariah, the wild card, the outlier.

He’d hoped when he first saw her in Tony’s office, so bright and magnetic, that she would hang around. Be a friend. God knew he needed some. He’d hoped for maybe more than that, in a corner of his mind. It’d been seven decades since he had a woman, let alone one as beautiful as she was. But no. She had to be something he couldn’t handle, a link to his past and a reminder of the pain.

And so his mouth had operated independently of his brain, insulted her within five minutes of meeting her…and here they were. Rivals. Stranded only God knew where. For only God knew how long. Facing only God knew what. He twisted to his right side, trying to get comfortable on the disintegrating straw. The bag under his head smelled like her, adding to his discomfort. Eventually his thoughts stopped racing and he willed himself into a fitful sleep. 

***

In his dreams, he saw Zola’s bloated face above him. More than once. He remembered the burning serum in his veins the first time he’d been captured and imprisoned at Azzano. Then the pain of hot metal being melded with his flesh the second time after he'd fallen from the train. “You vil be ze new fist ov Hydra.” The scumbag had hissed at him, looming over him. Panicked, he’d attacked the doctors with the gleaming metal arm they’d fused to him.

Bucky felt the sharp, icy-burning pain from the cryofreeze pod. The hum of the chair echoed in the darkness, blending with screams he recognized as his. He felt a small part of his mind screaming for help as the handler recited the words. “Ready to comply.” Such an empty, hollow voice. His own.

He’d woken with his hand around Y/N’s throat, staring at her in the darkness. Her face with pain and worry written all over it. Though he couldn’t tell if it was worry for herself of for him. Dropping her, he rolled into a crouch and clutched his head, visions of hell still swimming behind his eyes. He’d been given back his mind with technology and his freedom…but the memories and pain remained.

Admittedly, he was surprised that his unwitting attack on her had not resulted in a brawl. They had beat the snot out of each other many times for far less. He’d seen the flicker of fear vying with understanding in the depths of her eyes. Without thinking, he found her hand clutched in his as her surprisingly soft voice reached him. 

Her skin was soft, warm, comforting. And it shouldn’t be. Worse, words spilled from his lips before his brain caught up…he really should be used to _that_ happening. His mouth often worked faster than his mind, causing him no end of trouble. And worse still…Y/N had responded with civility. No, more. She’d opened up like he had, just a little. Offering the sort of warmth, openness and understanding he had seen her offer the others in the team before.

With her hand wrapped in his, fluttering sensations of peace and calm had pricked at the edges of his consciousness. Steady, unfaltering. Like a warm blanket around him on the mornings he woke up, still feeling the chill of Siberia. Breathing became easier, the pounding in his head ebbed into soft pulse. He was aware of her hand, trembling in his own. When he looked up, he could see the tension on her face. The concern in her eyes, it was definitely for him. It was then he _knew_.

Realizing she had used her abilities to calm him left him torn and confused. His first reaction was relief; the second was anger. She had been in his head, used her head fuck tricks on him. Yet…the way it felt was not at all how he had imagined; he hadn't been truly aware of what she had done until it was over with. Her intrusion was subtle, gentle. Not at all forceful, domineering or painful. It was nothing like when Hydra took his mind.

He would never admit it aloud, but in retrospect, the sensation of her mind against his was almost pleasant. And as effective as the sedatives Banner gave him without any of the haziness from the large doses he required. And some small part of him wanted so desperately to trust her, take the help she had offered to ease the burden when it came upon him like this. But could he?

And then she’d told him she didn’t blame him for his feelings. How the fuck could this woman possibly offer him understanding, kindness after they had been so violent so many times? Y/N said she had read about him, the man he used to be…and she had faith that he could be more than this broken man he was now? He’d given her no end of grief, and here she was, sounding like Steve and saying she believed him. She’d _flirted_ with him, whether serious or not…it had been just the right thing to say to lighten the mood.

The guilt set in then, so heavy and smothering. He’d hated her on principle. Just like most of the world did with him now, because of what he had done when he was Hydra’s mindless slave. He had despised her, tormented her for something that wasn’t her fault. She had never asked to be a lab rat, never asked to be what she was now. No more than he had. Fucking hell, it was all too much. He had _really_ fucked up here, hadn’t he?

Getting up and walking the building was all he could do to. He couldn’t bear to look her in the face. It was as he was strolling around the perimeter, guilt gnawing in his gut and having a pity-party that she grabbed his shoulder. “Get up high, _now_!” she hissed in his ear. Apparently she sensed he was about to argue with her in some way because she clamped her hand over his mouth. Her eyebrows had furrowed as her eyes shifted towards the door. “Something’s out there.” Her head jerked towards the exterior. “Move your ass, Barnes.”


	6. Cornered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Humor, violence...and a decided shift from enemy into frenemy. How much longer before all those repressed feelings break past that crumbling dam of animosity the two of you built? ;P
> 
> Chapter 5 and 6 were posted together, so if you skipped ahead...might wanna go back one. Both of my fics have been updated today! :)

As silently as you could, you scrambled up onto the rusty metal grating. You saw Bucky doing the same thing across the cavernous room. _“They’re givin’ me a raise for all this shit."_ You ran a hand through your hair, shoving strands back behind your ears that had escaped your braid. _”Because if they don’t, I’m just gonna go live in the woods like in that kid’s book…what was it? Oh, yeah. My Side of the Mountain. Yep, that sounds real nice right now.”_

Your finger twitched on the trigger of your gun and you forced yourself to breathe slowly. _”No brawling with Bucky, no Clint and Thor eating all of my snacks, no Tony blowin’ shit up every other day. No mission going totally sideways…. Just me, a big hollow tree and a bird. Maybe I’ll take Sam. He’s close enough to a bird…and everybody needs a Sam."_ You shifted into a crouch, and pressed your back into a wall. _"Having a Sam around worked out great for Frodo Baggins and Jon Snow."_

A soft thunk echoed in the night. _"Shit, fuck, what was that?”_ Your thoughts went silent as the first operative slipped through the doorway below.

They really weren’t very covert, steps heavier than they should be if the fools wanted to sneak up on Bucky. The man had the hearing of a bat. And their thoughts were loud and addled; did their superiors not tell them to keep thoughts blank went hunting you? There were at least eight that you could sense as they prowled around. Tension and anxiety radiated from them all; they knew they were walking into the lion’s den.

_“Of all the places to track assets…”_

_“Just us against them, why not send more?”_ This thought that found you was permeated with terror…this one had seen the Winter Soldier in action before.

_”Can’t see a thing in this shit-hole.”_

_”Where are they?”_ You bit back a chuckle. _“Don’t ask questions you really don’t want answers for.”_ You thought wickedly, gripping the your gun tighter and slowly moving closer to watch them. When they spread out, that was when you’d make a move.

You could feel the sheer tenacity emanating from Bucky. He was coiled tight and ready to spring, eyes on the door. Even without you present, he would be giving these unfortunate twits hell. As if he sensed you at the edge of his consciousness again, he made eye contact. Surprisingly, you felt no anger at your intrusion this time as he mouthed the word “twelve”. Shit, twelve? You had been way off. Best not to tell him that, however.

The first idiot veered off from the group and headed for a smaller doorway that lead into a hallway below you. You pushed a sensation of pure terror into him with all your might, convincing him something was behind him. Their minds and moods were easier to manipulate than Bucky’s had been. It was almost comical the way he whirled around and fired at one of his own team. They were already so edgy that three fired back. Two down. 

Then the entire building went silent, even the bugs and scurrying vermin. _“Ten to go.”_ Bucky’s expression was almost amused as he turned his attention from the scene below to you.

As a couple of the assassins sent after you moved to examine the bodies of their fallen colleagues, Bucky moved with a grace you didn’t know he possessed. _"For a hundred year old dude who weighs a good 240 and has a metal arm, he sure is spry..."_ The faint clunk of his boots echoed towards the other room and four shadows scuttled towards the sound. That left you with two more inside here and four outside. You opted to “convince” the four outside that one of you had made a break for the back door and you heard their boots in the grass as they went to investigate. 

The throbbing in your head was exceptionally painful. Between calming Bucky and screwing with these assholes, you were gonna be paying for it later.

Screams erupted from the direction Barnes had run and the two men below you damned near jumped out of their boots at the sound. The distraction was exactly what you needed, and you delivered a well-placed round to each of their heads before dropping to the ground. “Amateurs.” You snorted as you shook your head. “They sent _these_ after _us_? Dunno if I should be offended or relieved...” Swiping a better gun from one of the bodies, you hurried towards where you knew Bucky had last been.

He nearly collided with you in the darkness near the doorway, sporting a smear of blood on his forehead and cheek. More blood droplets glittered against the black of his tactical suit. Warm flesh and cold metal hands braced your shoulders as he peered at you in question. You held up four fingers and jerked your head towards the back of the building. With a nod, he turned you around and both of you slunk through the pre-dawn shadows to finish what these exceedingly stupid assholes had started. Handing him the rifle you’d pilfered from one corpse, you snagged another from the floor and fell in line behind him.

Your thoughts wandered as you watched the broad shoulders in front of you. He was an incredibly attractive man, and something about the mechanical efficiency he had in a fight really did something for you. Even during the times when it was you who was the focus of his aggression. _“This could have all been so different.”_ Knowing he had an attraction for you, guilt, and a plethora of mixed emotions had spurred you into a whirlwind of mixed emotions yourself. Scolding yourself for your thoughts being everywhere but where they should be, you pushed the nagging sensation of disappointment out of your head.

Suddenly, Barnes whirled around and hurled himself at you. “Bucky what the-“ the words died on your lips as an explosion sent the two of you flying backwards. Bucky grunted at the impact as he landed on you, and you stifled a scream as he crushed your injured ribs. The ringing in your ears was deafening and your vision swam as white-hot, searing pain ripped across your chest. Out of your peripheral, you could see the four operatives were advancing on you, guns drawn. The nearest opened fire and the bullets ricocheted off of Bucky’s metal arm as he flung it up to cover you both.

Maneuvering your gun over his back you took out the one who'd fired first as Bucky “weighs-as-much-as-a-fuckin’-truck” Barnes threw a knife into the throat of another. Biting down the pain in your chest and your head, you summoned the last of your willpower and forced the two remaining men to halt for a split-second. An opportunity the man crushing you into the concrete took without hesitation, filling the two of them with rounds until the bodies dropped to the ground. He rolled off of you and you let out another groan of pain. “Barnes, you’re gonna be the death of me.” You hissed at him.

“Smashed ribs or a grenade takin’ your leg off. Your choice, Y/N. Unless you just really have your heart set on a shiny, metal leg to match my arm.” His voice sounded _almost_ humorous.

“Of course Bucky, what more could a girl ask for?” You snapped, gingerly pressing fingers into your ribs. Yep, definitely back to square one on your healing time. And then it happened. He actually SMILED at you. Your heart practically stopped at the sight. He was attractive anyway, but a genuine smile from the man? He could make the world stop turning. With a twinge of sadness, you realized this was a small glimpse of who James Buchanan Barnes _really_ was before Hydra got their hands on him.

“Most girls want shiny baubles, not shiny fake appendages, doll.” A laugh bubbled up in your throat, full of relief to have survived and genuine humor. Before your ribs screamed at you in pain and your smile turned into a grimace. Carefully, he pulled you to your feet and peered at you a moment. “Let’s clean up and get goin’ before more of these fuckers turn up.”


	7. In the Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens! The tower has a Hydra mole who used your mission as an opportunity, Bucky has a change of heart, the two of you make tracks before trouble finds you again, and Sam gets an earful. 
> 
> I do believe the chapter after this one will contain the culmination of all the repressed, angsty, fluffly emotions. Gasoline, meet fire. It gets hot and steamy. Stay tuned! :)

Bucky had found a map and orders on one of the bodies…He was storming around in a blind rage while you stood the side, watching with clenched fists.

These men were to apprehend you both and return you to the fold. Or kill you, if they were unable to secure the two of you. They were also aware that Bucky had regained his mind and their words were useless, but they intended to re-break him. You personally were to undergo the same mind-control procedures that he had been subjected to, where previously they had relied on fear and multiple drug cocktails to keep you in line.

In any case, under no circumstances were they allow you both to remain with the Avengers as an active threat. “They send twelve guys after both of us, with these orders? This ain’t over with yet then.” Bucky had snarled as he leveled a kick at a stiffening body. “The fuckers are like cockroaches…There are always more than what you see.” 

His eyes had softened slightly when he saw you rigid with fear and anger and you nearly flinched when he put his arm over your shoulder and guided you toward the door. “C’mon, Y/N. Tighten it up. They aren’t takin’ either of us.” Confused at his Dr. Jekyl-Mr. Hyde-esque change of behavior, you carefully probed the edges of his mind with yours. There was no animosity. Worry, anger at the situation. Pushing just a little more, you found his feelings regarding you. What you found surprised you. Respect. Attraction. Trust. A desire to protect.

Your assistance after his nightmare, your reliability in a fight even with an injury...had erased some of his reservations about you. He had never worked with you closely in the field...and apparently you'd made a good impression when you backed him up as readily and capably as Steve would have. Common sense had finally gained the upper hand on his paranoia.

You withdrew, shocked and weighing the implications of his change of heart. If he had been aware of your intrusion, he didn’t show it. Silently, the two of you followed the faint scuffs in the dirt left by enemy boots, hoping to find their transport. And sure enough, the assassins had arrived in three black Jeeps which had been parked a mile down the road, hidden in some brush. 

Bucky was all smiles as he ripped apart the dash in one to remove the tracking device. If you had known that letting him tear shit apart would make him _this_ happy, you would have talked Tony into giving him one of his cars for a project. Might have saved a lot of walls, glass and furniture in the tower if he’d had an outlet like this.

"Bucky, wait a minute." He peered at you questioningly over his shoulder before jerking the tracker out and throwing it to the ground. An extremely satisfied expression was plastered across his face when he ground it under his heel and he turned to lean against the vehicle. Facing you, he crossed his arms and glanced at you from head to toe. _”Like what you see?”_ You wanted to ask but bit your tongue; this was not the time for this conversation.

But man oh man, did you wish it was. In the early morning sun, he was physically perfect. At least in your eyes. Even through his tactical suit, muscles bulged in the most flawless of ways. His five o’clock shadow had become full stubble over the last two days. That wavy chestnut hair was pushed back out of his face for a change, revealing those unfairly perfect cheekbones. His eyes were even bluer in daylight. _You_ definitely liked what you saw.

“Minutes about up, ya better start talkin’.” He drawled, the faintest hint of a smirk gracing his annoyingly perfect lips. Embarrassed to be caught staring like he had been, you swatted him and shook your head. "Smartass. Listen. Those were undeniably Hydra ops….and they knew where we were, what we were doing, and had access to mission details and equipment. Which means there is at least one mole in the tower, probably more." 

His face twisted into a grimace, and you knew he must have realized that already. " _And_ they tracked us. Probably because of that thing in your arm." You pointed at his metal arm where it reflected sunlight, bits of dried blood still smattering it. Bucky toed the dirt and let out a sigh. "We need to tell the others, so they can do some diggin' for that mole then." You nodded in agreement. "We'll call someone when we find civilization. But we need to lay low. I think we’re safer in the wind out here than back at that tower. But, that car wasn’t the only thing that could be tracked. So can you…we gotta take that tracker outta your arm."

He glanced at the metal gleaming in the golden sunlight. "That sounds easier said than done." "I can do it. If you trust me to." Those blue eyes met yours, and you realized that he was at ease, at least regarding your presence and the possibility of being touched by you again. "Yeah, get the thing outta there then. I'll be damned if I let them get the drop on us again."

***

It had taken about twenty minutes of careful maneuvering, cursing and constant reassurances to Bucky but you’d gotten Tony’s tracking device out of his arm without damaging anything. He’d plucked it from your fingers and tossed it into the air, firing a well-placed bullet into it before it landed in pieces. Flinching at the unexpected gunshot, you peered at him. “Really, Barnes?” Bright bits of metal sprinkled the soil where the remnants landed. He let out a quiet chuckle. “Woulda liked to have shoved it up Stark’s ass but that was almost as good.”

You shook your head, stifling a grin. “Time to go doll, get your butt in the Jeep. If their map is right, we’re an hour out from Taylorville, Indiana.” His use of pet-names no longer annoyed you as it once had. There was no malice or sarcasm in the words anymore. He pulled the folded map from his back pocket and waved it at you before handing it off. "I was born in Indiana, ya know. I bet nothin's changed. Small towns are like that." He said as he slid into the driver's seat.

You regretted allowing him to drive. Holy mother of GOD did you regret it. Bucky drove like an actual bat out of hell. Speeding down a bumpy dirt road at an alarmingly fast pace, the Jeep felt like it might shake apart. The entire vehicle vibrated and skidded on loose dirt but he either didn’t notice or didn’t care. The smile plastered to his face was equal parts cute and worrisome. He was just waaaaay too jovial about this. You were being hunted by your former captors and he was as happy as a pig in mud about killing a handful of their lackeys and commandeering a vehicle.

You clung on for dear life, telling yourself you would never let him get behind the wheel again. _”Survived being Hydra's guinea pig, all those fights with Barnes, a literal shit-ton of missions, jumping out of a sabotaged helicarrier, an attack by Hydra assassins…and this is how I will die. In the middle of nowhere, in whatever cornfield he rolls this damned thing into before it explodes like Tony's experimental fireworks…”_

Your face must have been giving you away because he started laughing again and slowed down ever ao slightly.

***

You’d reached Taylorville in what you were positive was record time. Fighting a splitting migraine from overusing your mind, you called Sam from a payphone while Bucky filled the gas tank on the Jeep. You quickly rattled through the events of the last twenty-four hours, and he filled you in on Tony’s plan. The best either of you could figure…the mole had been biding their time to strike and this little “intervention” had given them the perfect opportunity.

“So Stark’s plan was to drop us outta the sky, make us survive together a few days and then pick us up, supply us and what? Continue this BS mission?” You were going to strangle Tony for this underhanded shit. First, you'd torch his precious lab. Then, you were going to come for him in the inky blackness of night. Silent as a shadow; he'd never see you coming. Even Pepper wouldn't be able save him from the ass-whooping you were going to so generously provide him. Bucky could have whatever was left. Sam’s voice in your ear pulled you out of your demise-plotting.

“Apparently. And in the meantime, some sneaky Hydra dickhead took advantage of the situation. Now they’re after you both...” The worry in his voice was evident. “I hate to say it, because I miss ya Sunshine...but you’re safer out there with Barnes than back here if we gotta mole.”

“Remind me to kick Tony’s ass for this if I survive.” You ran a hand over your forehead tiredly. “No need, _I’m_ going to take care of that when we hang up.” The confidence and attitude in his voice made you smile, and then made you irrationally emotional. You tended to get overly-sensitive when you pushed your abilities too hard. And you _might_ have been missing your rag-tag group and all their bullshit, especially facing being away from them for an unforeseen amount of time. Along with being hunted. And dealing with whatever oddness was happening between you and Barnes. You could really use some of that Asgardian booze right now, and a chocolate bar as big as your face.

Sighing, you decided to let Sam go and raise whatever hell you knew he'd be raising in the tower. “I’ll be in touch at our next stop.” He said his goodbyes, hung up and you stood there fighting the lump in your throat. Exhaustion, worry, and an unexpected touch of homesickness lodged in your chest. You shook it off as best as you could while Bucky pulled the Jeep around to retrieve you. He thrust a donut out the window at you, another one crammed halfway into his mouth. “Pretty good for gas station donuts. Eat up, Sunshine.” The words were mumbled around a mouthful of pastry.

You swiped it and stuffed it into your mouth to hide the tears threatening to flow. First Sam, now Bucky. Mama didn't raise no bitch so you weren't about to cry. But Bucky had never called you by your nickname before. You weren't sure what that meant, but it felt like a punch to the stomach and made your heart flutter. 


	8. I Wish You Wanted Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which "Sunshine" and "Frosty" learn to play nice. Reallllly nice. ;P
> 
> This is a doozy of chapter, 3500 words so get comfortable! Trigger warning: if infertility is a trigger for you, this chapter contains a few sentences about it that might make you uncomfortable.
> 
> Otherwise...humor, then angst, then fluff, then sweet, steamy smut, then more fluff. Relationship dynamics officially change this chapter! I'm not sure if I am 100% satisfied with this chapter yet, so let me know what you think below? <3

Another two and a half weeks had passed, with you and Bucky staying in a different motel, in a different state, every night. Each of you taking turns driving. Mostly you, since he drove like a mad man. You’d only let him take over when you couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer. The animosity between the two of you was gone, replaced with trust, respect, and what you would have called friendship. Which was surprising all on it's own, honestly. Let alone that it had happened _that_ quickly.

Barnes was considerably friendlier now, and you sensed the change of heart was due to his realization that your abilities were not what he believed. And, you pieced together that he realized he had treated you the same way the whole world had him: with suspicion and hatred for something that wasn’t your fault. You were willing to forgive and forget, however. That was just the sort of person you were. 

The undercurrent of sexual tension had become more pronounced as he let down his guard though, and picking up on his moods and fleeting thoughts about that made it difficult for you to remain focused.

It had been a unanimous decision to avoid going back to New York towards the tower or towards Kansas where you were headed previously; you wanted to avoid doing anything predictable. So you’d decided to go south. One evening, Fury was waiting for you in the room you’d rented when you returned from dinner. He handed off a set of car keys and a file containing information about the situation at the tower. “You’re still ghosts, but with a more secure ride.” Was all he said, assuaging your concerns before he left with the Jeep you’d “borrowed". You wanted to let him have it for deceiving you and helping get you into this situation, but restrained yourself. With or without this intervention, shit would have eventually hit the fan anyway when Hydra made their move. 

So far, everything had been paid for with an untraceable pre-paid card that you had the presence of mind to load a year ago for emergencies just like this one. Rooms, gas, additional clothing, food…you’d been able to acquire what you needed. And just as the balance dropped to an amount that made you uncomfortable, someone from the team had loaded A LOT more money on it for you. You figured Tony had done it after coming under fire from Sam, since he was the only one who knew about it. 

Still, you were frugal by nature even with Tony Stark’s wallet open to you. A personality flaw that resulted in you sharing one full-sized bed in a small Rogers, Arkansas motel room with Bucky “hot-as-the-goddamned-sun” Barnes.

It had taken you an hour to get comfortable and fall asleep, on the far side of the bed. With blankets covering your feet only. You were sleeping next to a human space heater and after a couple of weeks...still not used to it. It was like his body was making up for all the years of being stuffed in a giant fridge. You were jolted awake when a cold metal arm was thrown over your waist and you were jerked across the bed.

Stunned for a moment, you peered over your shoulder. He was still fast asleep, unaware of his actions apparently. Sharing a bed with him hadn’t been a big deal, you'd shared beds and sleeping bags with most other members of the team when out on missions. Except Barnes. Until this mess...you'd never worked too closely with him before. To avoid trouble, obviously. 

In all the weeks of sharing beds...he’d never touched you. And definitely never done _that_ before. _“Like being spooned by a goddamned furnace…”_ you thought as you tried to shift free of him, bit by bit. 

You managed to escape his grasp without waking him, and turned to face him. He looked peaceful. The frown lines in his forehead were smoothed out and the tightness around his eyes was gone. He hadn’t shaved and had a healthy amount of scruff adorning his jaw. His mouth was parted slightly; soft breathing barely audible.

You’d watched him sleep a few times now, when you were too anxious to sleep yourself. You enjoyed the peaceful, quiet moments. Watching his handsome face as he slept did weird things to your heart and your belly. You couldn’t believe it yourself, but you’d actually enjoyed being around him too. A few times, you’d caught him in a nightmare and soothed his mind before it could go too far. With adequate, uninterrupted sleep, he seemed to be doing better. The past few days of relative comradery had been a refreshing change, and you’d decided you could get used to this side of Bucky.

_“Guess that part of Tony’s sneaky plan worked…too bad everything else is now a total shit show…”_

A few tendrils of hair hung over his face, fluttering with every breath he took. Without thinking, you reached to brush them away at about the time his eyes opened. Cool metal met your wrist as he reached up and grabbed it. Caught being tender to a sleeping Barnes. Great. 

He said nothing and didn’t release you, just stared at you. Sleepy eyes showed no suspicion; he seemed to realize the gesture was a gentle one. _”Look at her...pretty as a porcelain doll. How could I have been such an ass to her?”_ That was the first time you’d actually heard one of his thoughts. Before, you’d always noticed emotions but his thoughts had always been impenetrable, oddly. You’d assumed it was because he had built himself a mental fortress after so many years of being robbed of his own mind and choices. Hearing his mind, his feelings thought struck you to your core.

 _”I wish you wanted me.”_ The mournful thought came unbidden to your mind while you stared at his gorgeous, sleepy face and his expression changed to one of surprise. “Bucky?” You whispered. He shifted his face closer to yours. “Do that again.” “Do what?” His blue eyes were wide with disbelief, conveying a whirlwind of emotions. “I think…I think I felt- or heard your thoughts. Do it again.” 

This night was turning out to be full of surprises. Nobody had ever heard YOUR personal thoughts before. Sure, with effort, you could project emotions, convince people to think a certain way, put thoughts in their head if YOU wanted to. You still didn’t fully understand your own gift, but you’d never had another human being hear your idle thoughts. You'd learned long ago that skin to skin contact amplified your abilities, so maybe that was how he had heard? You’d projected your thoughts and touching him allowed him to hear you? 

You took a deep breath and met his eyes again. _”I wish you wanted me, Bucky. I wish things had been…were different.”_ Again, he surprised you when his eyes brightened and he scooted closer still, whispering “They’re different now, Y/N…” 

Holy fuckin’ shit, he actually had heard you. Had you let your guard down so much around him? You said nothing, and just stared at him. Stunned. Your lips parted to speak but no words would form. 

His hand released your wrist and he pushed a tendril of hair out of your face. “I can’t take back how I acted. I just kinda lost it when Tony said what you were capable of. How I acted...it wasn't right. Wasn't decent or fair. You didn’t ask for this.” Cool metallic fingers gently traced your forehead and you closed your eyes briefly at the pleasant sensation. “Just like I didn’t ask for this…” He placed his hand between the two of you, metal gleaming in the faint light slipping in through the window. 

“I thought you were just like _them_." The last word was harsh and he took a breath before continuing. "I couldn’t handle it. That night you were in my head after the nightmares…it- you were nothing like what I imagined. It was…nice . You were gentle. Just like you always are to everybody else. Everybody but me. And it was my own fault. I attacked you. I…I’m-“ He took a deep breath and reached to touch your hand again, the touch of cool fingers surprisingly gentle. “I don’t deserve forgiveness, but I’m sorry. And I…I do want you. Part of me always did.” 

You. Were. Fucking. Shook. James Buchanan Barnes not only just heard your thoughts, but had just spilled his purse in this dingy motel room. Speechless. You had no words and so you stared at him, eyes wide. He stared back, apprehension slowly filling his face. With a sinking feeling, you realized he expected your wrath, and rejection. The worry and disappointment he felt pricked at the boundaries of your mind. His apology was genuine; his regret was real. 

This poor man had suffered so horribly, and been so alone for seventy years. Your heart broke for him in that moment. Bucky Barnes was actually a good, decent man whose experiences had left him traumatized and lashing out when his own pain became too much to bear. He had spent so long as a weapon, unable to show humanity or vulnerability…but here he was. Showing that to you, of all people. Desire and longing welled up, pushing the sadness right out of you. 

Unable to form words, you simply leaned forward and tentatively pressed your lips against his. He was soft and warm, scruff tickled your chin and face as you held the kiss. You were about to pull back when his hand came up and stroked the side of your face. A swell of satisfaction, hope and twinges of arousal rolled off of him as his hand touched your face. 

“Y/N, I-“ You shushed him by pressing your lips to his again for a moment before speaking. “I forgive you Barnes, I understand…” 

“Bucky.” He whispered against your lips. “Call me Bucky.” Scooting close enough that his chest touched yours, he deepened the kiss. His hand continued to gently trail along your cheek. You could tell he wanted to hear his own name, after so long without one. “Bucky.” You sighed contentedly. A long, lingering, sweet kiss was your reward. Under the sweetness, you sensed his lust growing. Hidden just below the surface. 

His kisses were uncharacteristically gentle, like he was afraid you’d change your mind. You wanted more. It had been years since you'd last had sex...and you'd wondered about what Bucky would be like, deep in a corner of your mind. The opportunity presenting itself here was not one you wanted to miss so you decided you’d have to take the initiative here. At least at first. Carefully prodding his mind, lips still brushing against his, you tried to get a sense of what he liked and what he wanted. His thoughts and feelings were open to you now. The mental walls he built to protect himself after decades of mind control had crumbled away, at least in your presence. You found what you were looking for. 

Bucky groaned against your mouth as your fingers brushed back into his hair, grabbing a handful and gently tugging his face closer to yours. Licking his bottom lip, you pressed your body against his and draped your leg over his hip. You nipped his lip and that did it, his tongue swept out to meet yours as he wrapped his arms around you. 

“Y/N, its…it’s been awhile.” He chuckled bitterly, grabbing the thigh that was tossed over his hip, running his fingers over it. A shudder stole through you at his touch. “Longer than you’ve even been alive. If you keep doing that, I’m gonna lose control doll.” He let out a hiss as you pressed yourself even closer to him and ran your fingers through his hair again. 

You rubbed your nose against his. “This isn’t an exercise in self-control, smartass. This is one aspect of life where it’s ok to let go….” His lips turned up against yours; he was full of amusement that your snark could be found even in this situation. You attempted to project another thought to him. _“Stop thinking so much, Bucky…I want you. I want you.”_

Yep, he definitely heard that. He rolled you under his body and kissed you hungrily, desperately. His warm tongue plunged into your mouth, swallowing your moans. His hands seemed to be everywhere all at once. Breasts. Sides. Hips. Under your body to grasp your ass and jerk your hips upward into him. You moaned into his mouth as he rolled his hips against yours. “Y/N…” He groaned against your lips when your nails dug into his back. 

“Bucky, please.” Those perfect lips found their way across your jaw, to your ear and down your neck. Open-mouthed wet kisses with soft nips along your skin. His hips pressed his clothed erection against the growing heat between your thighs. A hard thrust as he worked himself against you forced a groan from your lips. 

_“Seventy years on ice sure didn’t cool him down in this department.”_ You thought as he sucked at a pulse point. He pulled back and you could see him grinning in the faint light. “Like riding a bike, you don’t forget. A pretty dame sure helps kickstart the memory too. ” Another hard press of his hips against yours emphasized the words and you drew a sharp breath in through your nose while tugging the edge of his shirt. 

“Bucky, you’re wearin’ too much.” 

He froze, looking suddenly uncertain. _”His scars…”_ you realized. You’d seen them before, but not like this. Your eyes held his, pushing reassurance into him as you maneuvered the shirt over his abs, chest and up to his shoulders. He sat up and tugged it off, remaining on his knees between your thighs. 

Sitting up, you found his lips again and ran soft fingers over his chest and the scars where metal met soft flesh. His muscles were firm under your touch and a few spattered hairs tickled your fingertips while you explored his body. You wanted to taste every inch of this man in the days to come, and you placed soft kisses down his scruff-covered jaw and neck before reaching his chest and shoulders. 

He moaned softly in the back of his throat as you shifted your head to press kisses to the angry red welts. You gently dragged your lips over each scar you could reach, your arms arapping around his torso to teasingly rake your nails over his muscular back. You made a mental note to massage that shoulder later, the muscle was stiff and hot to the touch. The pain from the extra weight and damaged nerves was probably intense and your heart twinged thinking of it. Trailing your hands back up to rest on his shoulders, you lifted your head and kissed him softly. He sighed into the kiss and cupped your jaw in his hands. With your hands pressing gently against his shoulders, he leaned back against the mattress and stared up at you dreamily. 

You yanked your shirt off, followed by your sports bra and smirked at the lustful awe on his face. Reaching up, you shook your hair out so that it cascaded over your shoulders and touched the top of your breasts. Bucky watched, enraptured. 

Scooting forward, you straddled him and leaned forward a little, licking your bottom lip as you eyed his naked torso. He reached up to cup you, and you felt a small glimmer of shame and regret; he hated that arm…it was a constant reminder of what Hydra had done to him. You grasped his hands and pressed them to your breasts. 

_“Sweetheart, you never need to feel ashamed of this.”_ You pressed the cool hand against your flesh harder and his eyes widened as your thought flickered through his mind. _"I like all of you...except when you're being an asshole."_ You tried a little humor and were rewarded with a goofy half smile before he bit his lip in arousal. Holding his hands against your breasts, you let out another quiet moan. 

He sat up and ran his tongue across a pert nipple, slipping his left arm behind your back to jerk your body closer to his. _”I can’t believe this is happening. I don’t deserve this.”_ Hearing his thoughts was such a new sensation, so incredibly intimate compared to hearing the thoughts of others. Sucking and flicking his tongue across your tender flesh, he pressed his erection against your damp core. And you ground down to meet him. 

The friction of his thickness against your most sensitive parts was absolutely mind-blowing. “Bucky…mmmm.” You clutched his head and ran your fingers through his hair. “I love hearin’ you say my name doll.” 

The waves of lust, affection, and longing that you felt from him were overwhelming. He was like a tsunami, sweeping you away in the storm of his desire. His arousal compounded your own, and yours spurred his on. You’d maintained the mental connection so far, even with your mind functioning at its most base levels of need and want.

Strong hands grabbed you and flipped you over on your back. He looked at you for permission before started tugging your shorts off of you. Your own hands reached for his sweats of their own accord and shoved them down, revealing his perfect cock. Gently, you traced your fingers up the thick shaft as he jerked your panties off. Running your index finger over the head and tracing every vein you could reach you watched his face twist with helpless pleasure before he pressed a finger into your dripping slit. The wanton moans that escaped your lips as he pressed a finger into you drove him wild. 

Nibbling a nipple, he pressed a second finger into you and you squeezed his cock. The look of ecstasy on his face as you palmed him would be etched into your mind for the rest of your life. He lifted his head and watched you as he inserted another finger, causing you to groan and press yourself against his fingers. "Ohhh Bucky..." More moans spilled past your lips as he curled his fingers against that perfect little spot deep inside. He worked that sensitive spot until you were a mewling, writhing mess under his hands. Bucky had stoked the fires of your arousal into a raging inferno; your orgasm was _just_ out of reach. You arched your back and slid your hand up and down his length, loving the deep moans rumbling in his throat. 

“Y/N, I-“ He cut off, embarrassed. You were more grateful than ever for your abilities because you knew he was going to tell you he wanted you. To take you that moment. Carefully, you tugged at the warm flesh in your hand and arched your hips towards him. Your eyes met his again as you repeated your motions. Silent, obvious permission. He got the idea and removed his fingers, rubbing the head of his cock over your slick folds. 

“Later, I’m gonna taste every square inch of you. But I can’t wait. Not right now.” He pumped himself a few times, admiring your naked body before meeting your eyes. 

“What about-“ You started to ask about protection and he frowned slightly. _“All those years in the cryofreeze…I’m sterile…”_ the thought was tinged with regret. Regret you were going to make him forget tonight, and as many nights as you could. It wasn't as if the lives you led were the kind where you could procreate even if you had wanted to. Jerking a nod, you pressed your hips up into him again to signal you wanted him inside of you. “Bucky…I need you.” 

His hips snapped forward fiercely, burying his cock into you all the way to the hilt. The sound of flesh meeting flesh drifted up up your ears and you both let out animalistic growls at the sensation. Each sound in a different pitch, blending together in a harmony that spoke of pleasure beyond description. He remained still for a few moments, letting your body adjust to his. Finally, you reached up and pulled his face to yours for a kiss. Bucky took that as a sign to move and began pumping you while massaging your tongue with his own. 

He clutched your hips and angled them up towards him, shoving your right leg over his arm so he could go deeper. Grabbing handfuls of sheets, you clung on as he pressed into you as far as he could go. You knew you were going to come quickly; his size allowed him to hit all the right spots. And your mental stimulation pushed you into realms of pleasure that practically consumed your body and soul. 

Feeling his emotions as your own pushed you to new highs you’d never experienced before. The sensations he felt during sex were sharper than your own. You knew he could feel yours too; his eyes gave him away. The pleasure you felt was deeper, more burning than his. The combined sensations you were feeling was almost too much for you. 

The small sounds that escaped his lips while your bodies were connected was intoxicating. Eyes that stared into yours were barely blue now, having grown so dark with lust and sensation. The intense, methodical focus that was characteristic of Bucky was absolutely incredible in this situation. He was every bit as thorough and attentive in bed as he was on missions. Every touch was calculated, measured to wring the most pleasure from your bodies as humanly possible. His hands and mouth roamed, nipping, kissing, caressing the spots he seemed to instinctively know were your weak spots. Your body practically vibrated with the waves of sensation ebbing through it.

You closed your own eyes as he filled your body with ecstasy. “No, open your eyes doll, I wanna see you. Please…” His voice was husky and rough and you obeyed him. A small moan escaped you as he thrust particularly deep, his eyes still locked on yours with his hands tracing your breasts and belly. "Bucky!” You barely recognized your own voice, so breathy and weak sounding as your body spiraled toward your climax. “You make the prettiest sounds, Y/N.” 

Slow, strong and steady. That was the pace he set, working your taught body as he grunted softly above you every time he pressed into you. He stretched you perfectly, large but not enough that you couldn't take all of him. Soft whispers of his name escaped you lips and he began to pound into you harder. “Y/N. Ohhhh darlin'. Feels so good. You fit me so good.” Warm fingers reached down to massage your clit and you bit down on his bottom lip. “More, Bucky, please. More.” You moaned. His teeth and lips found your ear and throat. He hissed in your ear as you dug your nails into him and wrapped your free leg over his hips. Even digging in with nails, your hands found little purchase on his sweat-slicked back. Bucky ran his tongue down your neck and collarbone before his lips latched on to the hollow of your throat. 

His touch was like a livewire pressing into your flesh. Pure heat, pure electricity. “C’mon, finish for me. Wanna feel you Y/N. Need to feel you before I come.” His whispered against your neck. The fingers circling your clit moved faster and pressed down harder as he jammed himself into your body. You could feel his desire to have you mewling below him, clenching him in your body as you came undone. 

You saw an image of yourself in his mind, squirming below him as you came. That was enough to push you over, the tight knot in your belly uncoiling with a snap of fire that flooded your veins. “Bucky! Oh god, harder. Harder!” Your climax pushed him into his own and he practically snarled as he slammed into you all the way, burying his face into your neck. You felt the pulse of his seed inside you; he collapsed on top of you and pushed in and out a few more times. 

You lay together with him inside you for several minutes. Bucky’s weight atop you was pleasant in the afterglow of the pleasure you’d found in each other. Even though he had a good hundred pounds on you, he didn’t feel too heavy at all. His body was warm and the scent of his sweaty skin was comforting. The warmth of his body that had been too much before was perfect now. 

He lifted his head and pressed his lips to yours. “I felt you, what you felt...during. That was incredible. Can we... do it again?” His expression was content, and his eyes still showed disbelief and the fear you’d suddenly reject him. As if you could bring yourself to after _that_ performance. “If we don’t do this again, repeatedly, I will literally die, Bucky.” 

The smile he gave you was blinding before he kissed you again, all passion, affection and contentment. “Gimme a couple minutes, doll. We ain’t done yet.” 


	9. Shared Smiles. Shared Suffering.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starts as Bucky's POV for the contents of the previous chapter and switches to Reader POV for the second half of this chapter. Fluff followed by some serious angst as we finally get the backstory to our badass reader. Bucky just had to ask!
> 
> Trigger warnings: Mentions of torture, death.
> 
> I have several chapters written ahead, and let me tell you guys...I FREAKIN' LOVE THEM. I can't wait to share them with you. I've loved writing each of the Avengers and spinning this story full of humor, action, all the fluff, all the smut and plot twists! More plot twists ahead!

***Bucky’s POV***

Bucky had come to terms with the differences between reality and his own pre-conceived notions. And boy, had he been wrong. Y/N wasn’t some vicious, mind-controlling monster. She actually wasn’t _that_ bitchy, and she was a hell of a good person to have around in a fight. Beyond that, she understood better than anybody what he had suffered.

Guilt plagued him that he had been so vicious to her about something that she couldn’t help. He wanted to make up for that, starting with doing all he could to keep her out of Hydra’s slimy hands. It was more than a little ridiculous to feel so protective of someone as capable as she was…but he felt that way all the same.

The truth was, they were a lot alike. Fiery, loyal, dependable, determined. They both had suffered so much more than any one person should have to. Except she had worked on her own anger and pain; she sought an outlet and used her past to drive her to do good things. And he hadn’t. Not yet anyway. He planned to after this was all over; she and Steve were right. He could do better.

Reality had been like a punch in the face from Hulk after the past few weeks.

***

Bucky had been dreaming of her, rather than his usual nightmares. He had both of his own arms in the dream, fresh-faced and smooth like he had been in 1940. He wore a crisp white button-up shirt and khakis and felt like a million bucks. They had walked around Prospect Park, his arm around her waist and set up a picnic. Brooklyn was beautiful in early summer, with the sun was shining bright. A soft red-checkered blanket lay between them and the ground.

Y/N was as pretty as a picture in her simple black skater dress and teal blue ballet flats. Her little charm bracelet clinked with every gesture she made to animate the conversation she was having with him. Streams of golden sunlight filtered through the tree branches and illuminated her hair. He’d been laughing as she wiped a smear of chocolate pudding off his chin with her thumb.

The remnants of the dream were still with him when his body jolted him awake. Her face was near his, her hand brushing hair from his face. The expression she wore was warm, made softer in the dim light from the single lamp on the dresser that she’d turned on before bed. Even through cool metal, he could feel the warmth of her skin, She wasn’t all done up for a date in his dreams, just in her pajamas. And yet she looked so soft, warm and beautiful. 

Whatever the negative experiences were that he associated with her previously….he admired this woman. Staring at her face, he felt a tingle zip across his mind, like cool wind on hot skin. 

_”I wish you wanted me.”_

The thought was impossibly sad. And definitely not his. A chill crept down his spine as he realized the sensation he felt was her, her thoughts. He was feeling her and the sensation was so incredibly profound. Intense. Intimate. He liked the closeness, he liked how this felt. She wanted him to want her? Well god-damn was she in luck…he did want her. He had wanted her. Badly.

***

This night was just absolutely unreal. Even with Y/N sleeping curled against him, her head on his chest... He was half convinced this was all a dream. It had to be. Tomorrow he would wake up in the tower, filled with equal parts anger and desire, go back to hating the world and fighting with her. Y/N shifted in her sleep and her slender fingers twitched against his stomach. Idly, he ran his fingers over her knuckles and sighed contentedly. No, not a dream. This was reality, for however long it lasted.

“Buck, get some sleep.” Her mumbled voice was barely audible and he squeezed her, kissing her temple. “Workin’ on it, doll.” She mumbled something else that was incomprehensible, buried her face into his neck and hair and sighed. A smile pulled at his lips.

He never thought he’d get to touch a woman like this again. He'd convinced himself that he would never meet one that one wouldn’t recoil in disgust from him because of what he had done and what he looked like now. But here was Y/N. They’d fought like cats and dogs…and she still forgave him. Still let him touch her. She still pulled him close and kissed him, and had gazed at him with such soft eyes. Y/N wasn’t afraid, wasn’t put off by his cybernetic arm, or who he had been. She had offered forgiveness, she had offered herself…and he felt more human than he had since before he’d tumbled off that train.

Like a man starved, he’d desperately taken her twice more. He was no virgin, but it had been seventy damned years. Still, he couldn’t recall any of those other women being quite like this. He’d felt her emotions, heard her thoughts while he was joined with her. And she had felt his. The ability he’d despised her so long had helped to make this the most deep, satisfying sexual experience of his life. 

He’d gone from bitter rival, to friend, to being emotionally attached to this sassy, stubborn, capable woman in a much shorter time than seemed reasonable. He was smitten and he knew it. Having the sort of mental connection he’d experienced…it felt like he had known her forever. 

The irony was not lost on him, about everything regarding this situation with Y/N. How it turned out they were actually compatible, if their attitudes were removed from the equation. And how Hydra had broken his mind… then created the person with the ability to soothe that broken mind. They had made the person who could fill the darkness they left behind with light and warmth. She brought him peace in the chaos they’d been thrown into; he’d do whatever it took to keep her safe from those who hunted then.

Bucky closed his eyes and nuzzled the top of her head. Breathing the scent of her hair, he let himself drift off to sleep.

***Reader POV***

Morning came all too early and you groaned as Bucky prodded you awake. You rolled away from him and jerked the blankets over your face. With a breathy laugh, he dove under them after you. “C’mon, it can’t be _that_ bad wakin’ up next to me.” 

His fingers found your side and dug in. Thrashing, you giggled and tried to wiggle away from him. “I’d love waking up to you if you didn’t do _this_!” You almost squealed as he tickled you again and jerked the covers off of you both.

God, what a gorgeous sight he was in the morning. Brown hair all mussed, morning light from the single window illuminating his face. Every angle looked sharper, his eyes looked bluer…and there was an expression of contentment you’d never seen on him before. _”I’d have taken his ass to bed sooner if I’d known it would make him so much more agreeable.”_ You told yourself with a twinge of amusement. 

The crooked smile he gave you told you he’d heard that notion, his hand was still on your hip. “Hey, you can take me to bed any time you want now, doll.” 

Oh you’d be taking him up on that. He’d taken you three times last night before the two of you had fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep, a tangle of arms and legs. After his repeat performances, you were positive Barnes had been in high demand during his Brooklyn days. You might have been jealous under different circumstances, but you felt confident that all the women from his past were six feet deep by now.

“One more hour Bucky, pleaaaase.” He sighed, rolled you over and curled his body around yours. His bare chest was warm against your naked back and felt like heaven. “Alright. One more hour, then we gotta go.” 

****

You sat quietly, nibbling at the skin around your thumbnail. The two of you had stopped for the night, earlier than usual. Curled up for bed, he’d teased you until you were tearing his clothes off and mounting him. The look on his face as he watched you would be forever burned into your mind. And so would the sound he made when he flipped you over on your stomach and growled into your ear as he took you.

It was while you were cuddling, sharing thoughts and tracing each other’s flesh with idle hands that he had asked you about your past. Presently, you were unable to bring yourself to look at Bucky, knowing his eyes were filled with sympathy. Tears refused to fall, even dredging up the living nightmare that was your past…you refused to cry. And you would have rather left the past where it was. 

But, he’d asked…so you told him. You didn’t want to hide a thing from him. So you’d taken his hand in yours, taken a deep breath and jumped into your own sad tale. Your thoughts had raced through his mind, and you’d felt his reaction to each and every one.

You were fifteen when you’d been snatched in broad daylight, stuffed into a van and knocked out. Hydra had abducted other girls the same way, making it look like human trafficking. Other girls who had not survived being pumped full of experimental serums and drugs. You had been the first. They’d developed all manner of “medications” by testing them on you. You had been all alone, kept in an icy cold cell devoid of light. The walls were dingy concrete, and the floor matched the walls. You'd slept on a stiff cot with a thin sheet and the few meals you received were shoved through a small slot in the door. The only times you were free of that cell was when something horrible was going to happen to you.

When you weren’t strapped down to a table, screaming your throat raw and being prodded with needles…you’d been forced to learn to fight. You were instructed, and told you would die if you didn’t learn. And sure enough, you’d had your ass kicked to within an inch of your life until you learned. 

Knives, guns, hand to hand combat. You learned it all. The handlers had threatened to kill your family and kept you loaded on their experimental drugs and sedatives to make you more compliant. But you had been willing to learn to fight…telling yourself that they were giving you the skills for revenge, the skills to gain your freedom.

The experiments continued in the interim. Once you’d gained the ability to read thoughts from one of their serums…that was when things got really ugly. 

They expected you to help interrogate people, break their minds. They demanded you use your abilities to torture people. At first, you’d refused. You were deprived of food, sleep and water and still, you refused. They had beaten you, burned you, shocked you with cattle prods and doused you in cold water. But the serum, years of tortuous experiments and harsh training had made you incredibly resilient. You knew you would heal quickly, so you endured whatever they threw at you.

So the handlers and their superiors had looked for new ways to break you. One man in particular had been an absolute nightmare. A true sadist. He enjoyed inflicting any manner of pain he could. His face still haunted you.

One of the guards was sympathetic to you. And barely older than you…he had smuggled you food and water from his own rations, skipped giving you doses of drugs, and been kind to you. He’d been taken as a youth too, and suffered for it. Hydra threatened his family as well, so he’d complied with their demands. Kevin was his name, and he’d become your friend first, and then your lover. Until the handlers found out.

They beat and tortured Kevin, to force your compliance. It had been enough, seeing his sweet face bruised and bloody. You’d agreed. You interrogated whoever they sent you, reading their emotions and thoughts; separating truths from falsehoods. You tortured whoever they demand you torture, or they threatened your family and Kevin. For a while, you were allowed to keep Kevin with you. Safe. You protected him as he had tried to protect you. 

Soon enough, you were sent out with a handler to infiltrate wherever they thought they needed to be. You killed, stole, sowed chaos. All to keep yourself alive and your family safe. To keep Kevin safe. Slowly, you had begun to earn the trust of your captors. Never deviating from orders, methodically and meticulously carrying out missions. You did _exactly_ as instructed. Your unwavering obedience earned you more freedom…and that was when you decided to make your move.

You and Kevin came up with a plan to escape. A plan that ultimately failed. They’d killed him for it, and threw you into solitary confinement. That had been a fatal mistake on their part. Sorrow, anger and a desire for revenge had been a powerful motivator. Locked away for months, you’d honed your mental abilities and stewed in your own misery. In the chaotic aftermath of the failed Project Insight was when you made your second break. One that was bloody, violent, and successful. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Bucky’s voice came out soft, breaking your concentration. “God, having to be that strong… You were just a fuckin’ kid.” You finally lifted your eyes to his and saw the genuine sorrow on his face. More, you felt anger. Anger that you had suffered so. “They won’t have you. I promise you, they’ll have to go through me first.” He pulled you to his chest, kissing your forehead. 

The devotion and desire to shield you from harm that you sensed from him in that moment was what finally broke your resolve. Tears slid silently down your face and dripped onto his shirt. You hadn’t cried in years, not for anything. But here was Barnes. Snarky, cold, harsh Barnes who you’d fought with so many times...the one to break you. Not by force, not by pain. But with kindness, acceptance and warmth. Your heart was breaking and filled to the brim with fondness at the same time.


	10. Musings, Plans and Plot Twists

Sam nearly jumped out of his skin as Tony barged into Y/N’s room. Stark raised a questioning eyebrow at him, taking in the watering can in his hands. “She asked me to feed her fish and water the plants.” The eyebrow raised higher and he smirked. Wilson returned his attention to the several large pothos plants that hung near the large windows. He'd already misted the succulents and air plants, pricked himself on the giant ass cactus and nearly knocked over the aloe plant when he jumped back cursing at said cactus. 

He was annoyed before Tony ever sauntered in acting like he owned the place. Well, he did own it, But the sauntering and the barging and the silent judgement were unnecessary. “What’s your excuse, Stark? Here to go through her unmentionables? You know if she finds out you did the five-knuckle shuffle in her room, she will literally murder you.” He had definitely had more than enough of Anthony "My-ego-is-larger-than-the-state-of-New-York" Stark in the last few weeks. 

Everyone knew Tony was a bit lascivious before Pepper straightened him out, so he went for the throat with that insult. Sure, it was a cheap shot. But Sam didn’t care. His friend was in harm’s way because of the playboy billionaire and his scheming. And he missed that perfectly brewed, warm morning coffee. He also missed the equally warm smile that accompanied it.

“Nope. Here to Hydra-proof the place.” 

Stark didn’t even react to the insult, which irked Wilson even worse. He set the watering can down and peered at Tony as he wandered over to feed the fish. They circled near the top, little mouths flapping open. They smelled just like their fish flakes. Stinky little goldfish that Y/N would literally murder _him_ for if he let them die. She'd told him the names to all seven of them, but hell if he remembered. Who named goldfish, anyway? “Alright, c'mon bird-man. Knock off your Mary Poppins impression and go find Rogers to be briefed. We have new intel.”

***

Another two weeks had passed by since the night you and Bucky had shared together in that tiny motel in Arkansas. Another two weeks since you had spilled your story to him, bared the broken part of your soul…and been accepted all the same. Life now consisted of a different motel every night, a different city or state, a different bed. 

Your time was spent in unfamiliar surroundings, with occasional calls to Sam or Steve. Nat had snatched the phone from Sam one night so she and Wanda could check on you. Thor had been shouting in the background trying to take it from her. “SUNSHINE! FROSTY! YOUR ENEMIES WILL SOON KNOW OUR WRATH! NOBODY THREATENS MY COMRADES!” His booming voice drowned out the protests of the others.

You could barely make out Clint’s laughter in the background. God, you missed them. You hadn’t realized how stable and reasonably secure your life at the tower really was. At least, compared to this.

They knew who the mole was; the sneaky shit had dipped as soon as Tony had started digging. A man named Adam Stewart. That was supposedly his name, anyway. Of course, he’d snagged a bunch of intel on his way out. A search was in progress; information that had trickled in suggested he was working for a Canada based splinter of Hydra and the team had been scouting for the base. They had covered their tracks well, had a decent reach and deep pockets. To have infiltrated Stark tower, splinter or no…they were a sizable threat. 

It was decided for you that you weren’t going back until that base was razed to the ground. Chaos and uncertainty were the order of the day now, every day. The only thing that really remained fixed, beyond your increasing paranoia, was Bucky’s warm body next to yours every night. And the soft smile that you’d come to know as one reserved for you.

When you were alone at night or in the car, he blossomed into that charming 1940’s lady-killer you’d read about. All smiles, pet-names, and sparkling eyes. The icy cold you’d experienced with him initially had melted to a gentle warmth. In the dark of night, when he joined his body with yours, he was passionate and thorough. He never left you wanting, taking care of your needs before chasing his own release. You'd had other lovers besides Kevin, who'd been your first. But Christ on ice skates! Not one of them held a candle to James Buchanan Barnes. The man was insatiable, and skilled enough to get away with it.

You’d wake up in the morning with his arm draped over you, warm breath on the back of your neck. The heat of his body was enough you rarely covered more than your legs. When he finally roused himself, he’d roll you over and press you to his chest after kissing you.

The real Bucky Barnes shone through in those moments. When he was happy and at ease, he melted your heart. He had rarely been relaxed or happy in the year you’d known him previously. You’d already decided that would be changing; you wanted him to be happy much more often. The man had definitely had more than his share of misery and deserved some peace.

Conversations were sometimes held completely through traded thoughts, his hand wrapped around yours. Bucky particularly enjoyed this. Seven decades of isolation and murder had made conversation and proper behavior in social interactions difficult for him. The nuances of thought were easier to decipher than the nuance of spoken language. There was no guess work, no hiding.

Everything about this dynamic between you and Bucky was intimate in a way you’d never known. Learning about someone through their actions and words was one thing. A person could hide a lot behind words for a long, long time. But feeling their feelings, knowing their mind? That was something else entirely.

Helping him grow and heal had the added benefit of discovering more of your own abilities. Without a doubt, this intimate mental connection you shared with him was helping strengthen and hone your abilities to a razor sharp edge. 

He’d come to you after nightmares, willing and wanting you to bring calm to the storm inside him. It was easier now that he was open to you. In the recesses of Bucky’s mind, you found pain, guilt, anger, and suffering. But you also found affection, glimmers of happiness and a tender heart. Beneath the capable, murderous soldier exterior, he was a gentle soul who wanted to protect and do the right thing.

With his permission, you eased the painful and nurtured the good. You accepted all he was, no matter what he shared with you. And he did share his history with you. From the missions he remembered, to the chair they strapped him to so they could steal his mind and how it felt. Electrical currents that made his head feel like it would explode. Pain so intense even his teeth hurt, despite the mouth guard they gave him. The words that they used to force compliance, obedience. He told you of the inability to stop his own body from carrying out their orders, even though a small part of him screamed and fought. 

He talked about WWII. From the bone-chilling memories of being pumped full of serums in Azzano, to missions with Steve and the Howling Commandos. Killing Nazis and _enjoying_ it, to falling from the train. You accepted it all. He didn’t shy away from the darkness in you left by Hydra, either. The connection between the two of you had formed quickly and ran deeply, despite the harsh history you shared. 

In your head, you’d already planned out day trips, movie and game nights and half a dozen other varieties of outings. Bucky needed a social life, an outlet, to remember what it was to _live_ again. He’d had that chance stolen from him and had been a total recluse in the years since he’d regained his freedom.

You’d decided you were going to brow-beat Tony into a project car for him, for all this trouble. Bucky had expressed admiration for a carved wooden statue in a motel lobby one night and you thought Clint would probably be willing to teach him a bit about carpentry. He _did_ work on his house all the time, and he _did_ owe you for a bet he’d lost. You’d even bet that if Bucky could keep his smart mouth under control, the two of them would get along well.

You had to admit, that as chaotic as things were and as nervous as you were about being on the run…it was nice having Bucky to yourself. You _knew_ you were going to catch so much shit when you could go back home. Given, you didn’t exactly know what _this_ with Bucky really was…but you didn’t think it would stop when you returned to the tower. The first time Tony caught one of you slinking into each other’s rooms on surveillance, you’d be lucky if he didn’t have FRIDAY announce it to the entire building. You’d be even luckier if he didn’t turn the sprinkler system on the two of you, just because he could.

You were pulled from your musings as Bucky slipped back into the room from a run to the snack machines. A bright smile split across his face and he held up a fistful of King-sized chocolate bars. “I still can’t wrap my head around how many kinds of candy there are now.” He tossed the candy onto the bed and flopped down beside you.

“Which one is mine?” “Whichever you want, doll.” You smiled at him and took the Reeses cups. Snickers were his absolute favorite so you knew better unless you wanted him stealing bites. He scooted closer to you on the bed, lifted your bare legs over his lap and reached for the remote for the TV.

Your cozy moment curled up beside Bucky, stuffing your face with chocolate and watching Simpsons re-runs came to a screeching halt when there was a knock at the door. Peering at Bucky, you watched consternation fill his face. He silently rose from the bed, crossing the room to stand beside the door. You stood and placed yourself near the foot of the bed adjacent to Bucky, ready to strike. Your eyes met his and he carefully peered through the peephole. His body relaxed, so you figured it wasn’t a threat.

You _were_ surprised when he pulled the door open and Steve pushed though and closed it behind him. Before he ever uttered a word, you knew this was serious. You had only made your check-in call a few hours prior.

Taking in the single bed and you in just a tight tank top and panties, Steve turned as red as the paint on his shield. He made a point of looking at Bucky to avoid looking at you. Bucky lifted a hand and somewhat sheepishly scratched the back of his neck while you pulled on a pair of tights you’d bought at one of your many, many stops. 

Bucky’s best pal leaned against the door and looked at him, expression conveying everything. _”Jesus Buck, really? Some things never change.”_ You fought the snarky comments bubbling up. “So shit went sideways now? I’m sure you’re not just hear for a sleepover.” Cap let out a sigh. “We’re here to get you some place safe.” 

Without another word, you grabbed your backpack from it’s place under the bed and yanked your tactical suit out of it. You pulled it on over your clothes and reached for Bucky’s bag. “Where we goin’?” he asked Steve, taking the bag you offered. “Clint has the Quinjet waiting a few miles outside town. Tony beefed up security. “Hydra-proofed the joint” as he put it. We located their base so the rest of the team is clearing it as we speak. Time to come home.”


	11. Guys, I Think We've Been Had

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers close in on the Hydra base, finding more questions than answers.
> 
> Steve gets reader and Bucky home...aaaand then fluff and smut.
> 
> Trigger warnings: blood, violence.

“Uh…this place looks suspiciously empty inside.” Nat hissed, slinking along a narrow corridor with highly polished tiles on the floor. They were about an hour into razing the base and it had been entirely too easy as far as she was concerned.

A long hallway at the end lay perpendicular to her position. She’d already cleared the rooms that lined each side behind her. Fluorescent lights flickered overhead as a rocket hit something (or someone) on the roof. Dust drifted down from the ceiling like snow and settled on the gleaming tiles. She watched a hairline crack spider down the sheetrock to the floor before it split open wider.

“What do you mean “empty”? There were heat signatures.” Tony’s voice crackled in her ear while another muffled explosion rattled the walls. “Empty. As in, nobody at home! Do you know another definition of empty that I don’t?” A snort was Stark’s response. “There is nothing in this section, either. Your heat signatures have apparently left the building. Find them.” Wanda muttered.

“God, if it’s not Rogers telling me what to do…it’s one of you people. You guys do remember who pays, houses and feeds you, right?”

A muffled series of booms from outside was followed with an “OH YEAH!” echoing in everyone’s ears through the comms. Rhodes. He got entirely too much satisfaction out of blowing things up. Tony brought him along since they had elected to leave Banner behind to keep an eye on things. Who’d have company once Rogers returned with their favorite ex-Hydra agents. Whom hopefully didn’t bring the tower down before the rest of the team got home.

Another wave of rockets slammed into something much closer. More dust rained down and the crack that had opened along the wall earlier split open further. A few of the fluorescent bulbs overhead shattered, glass tinkling to the floor below. “Sooo listen. You guys wanna ease up on the explosives? Having a building come down around my ears is not my idea of a good time.” Sam snapped into the comms. 

He was already unhappy about being taken out of the air and put on reconnaissance, and the explosions overhead were not helping his nerves any. Redwing was minimally useful inside, but he was using it to scout ahead before he entered any rooms. Still, he'd managed to avoid any unpleasant surprises.

Resistance had been minimal outside; fewer than expected hostiles patrolled the roof. There were a few vehicles and aircraft, but not as many as there should have been for a base this size. The fact there were so few people hiding inside made Natasha's fingers twitchy. Something wasn’t right here.

A loud crash had Nat jumping back against the nearest wall, gun in hand. “I found one!” Thor bellowed. Followed by a second crash. “Two!!” “Jesus, don’t kill them! We need to question them!” Tony shouted in the comms, making everyone curse at him and clutch their ears. “My name is Thor, not Jesus. If you send for a healer, I think one will live.” Tony groaned. Thor was not the one you send when you want captives to question.

“Will you testosterone-driven maniacs reign it in? _Why_ is this place so deserted?” Vision passed through a wall a few feet ahead of Natasha and she nearly shot at him. “I agree with Miss. Romanov. Something is wrong here.” “I wish you would stop doing that. I know Wanda had that talk with you.” Her voice was dripping with annoyance. Well, as much annoyance as one could expect from her…resting bitch face and bored tones of voice were sort of her thing.

He peered at her, red face blank. “She only told me to refrain at the tower. Nothing was discussed about doing so during missions.” Nat rolled her eyes.

Thor appeared around a corner ahead, dragging an unconscious, bloody man behind him. "This one may know something, if you can fix him." He lifted the limp man and shook him slightly. A soft groan fell from his lips but he offered no resistance. Sam turned the opposite corner behind him and shook his head while stepping around the blood trail behind the massive Asgardian. “Kinda hard to fix a guy that’s had his ass beat clean off by a Norse legend.” Thor looked over his shoulder and grinned back at him.

All of them flinched at a much closer explosion and peered towards the crumbling hole in the corridor wall. Tony strode through the “doorway” he’d made for himself, his suit making little clicks and whirs at each step. Vision stared at him blankly a moment before turning to Romanov. “Why is it acceptable for Mr. Stark to do that-“ he waved a hand at the hole “but it is unacceptable for me?”

“It’s not acceptable. But at least you can hear _him_ coming a mile away.” Wanda replied for her, walking up behind them. “Seriously. You just pop outta nowhere like a damn ghost, man.” Sam chuckled. Vision shot him a confused glance but apparently decided to let it slide, looking back over at Tony.

"Guys, I think we’ve been had. Patch that asshole up and get him talking." Stark pointed a red and gold finger at the man leaving a bloody streak on the tiles behind Thor. “Rhodey, we need to get back to the tower. I think we’re going to have house guests.”

***

"God I can't wait to shower in my OWN shower." You groaned as you hauled your bag into the back of the Quinjet. "Sleep in my own bed, in my favorite pajamas..." You plopped down on one of the hard chairs in the back. "Drive my own car to get groceries and make my own food... I'll die happy if I never see a McDonald's again as long as I live." You shoved your hair behind your ears. "Shit. I hope Sam remembered to feed my fish and water my plants like I told him..."

You were still rambling when Bucky sat down beside you. "I'll buy ya new plants if Bird-Brain killed 'em." You smiled at him and leaned your shoulder against his. It still stunned you that the man who’d been so vicious before was capable of being so sweet now. “What about my fishies?” “I’ll break his new car if he killed ‘em.” He responded with a shit-eating grin. You sighed and kissed his cheek. You had become extremely fond of this man.

"I'm also going to enjoy _your_ shower, _your_ bed, and takin' those favorite pajamas off of you." He whispered in your ear. A suggestive smile pulled at his lips and his left hand rested against your knee. 

Cold metal elicited a surprisingly heated response from your skin when it was attached to him. You fought the sudden fire roiling in your stomach and ribbed him back. "My bed huh? Not yours?" "Mmm, wherever you're comfortable." His nose gently traced the edge of your ear as he breathed the words and your heart fluttered happily. Your hand went to the back of his head and you ran your fingers through his hair as he nuzzled you. 

"C'mon guys, this jet has seen a lot of action but it really doesn't need to see _THAT_ kind of action!" Clint hollered from the cockpit. You both jumped and peered up at him. "Yeah, Tony installed cameras back there. I see you. Keep it in your damned pants, Barnes." 

Steve had wandered in just in time to hear Clint and began laughing. "Good luck, Barton. This-" he waved a hand at the two of you "is entirely too familiar. I dunno what you did to him, Y/L/N but when Tony hears how effective his plan was, even with Hydra taking advantage of it, we’ll never hear the end of it." "If Stark says a word, I am going to cram that entire suit up his ass. The. Entire. Thing." Bucky snickered beside you. “And everyone is afraid of _me_.”

***  
As the Quintjet hit the landing pad on the roof, you were practically bouncing around with glee. Bucky was giving you a very amused side eye, but you could tell he was glad to be back as well. You managed to stay in your seat until Clint and Steve had exited before jumping to your feet. You were held in place as Bucky grabbed your arm. You turned your head to look at him and saw a question in his eyes. The moment you smiled at him, he slid his hand down your arm and twined your fingers with his. “You ok with…this…here?”

You bent down and pressed your lips to his briefly. “More than ok with _this_ -“ Your hand squeezed his. “-here. Or anywhere.” That smile. The billion dollar mega-watt Barnes trademark smile. It was brighter and more beautiful to you than all the lights in NYC. He leaned his forehead to yours for a moment. “What a god-damn dumbass I was…” he breathed. “Yeah but you’re my dumbass now. C’mon Barnes, I want a shower.” 

A chuckle bubbled up from him as he stood. _”Bucky.”_ His amused thought tickled the edges of your mind.

The two of you trailed hand in hand into the tower behind the others, bags slung over your shoulders. “Clean up and get some rest, you’ll be debriefed when the rest of the team comes back tomorrow.” Steve called to you before he stepped into the elevator.

It didn’t take long to get to your room. You were on one of the upper floors because Tony knew you liked the view. For an egotistical shit, he was a pretty good bro in a lot of ways. His friends wanted for nothing. Punching your code into the pad beside the door, you slipped inside with Bucky barely a step behind you. 

Your bag thudded to the floor and you felt his chest against your back, a cool hand brushing your hair from you neck so he could bury his nose into it. With his touch on your skin, you could hear his thoughts loud and clear. _“Never thought I’d see the inside of this room. Never thought any of this would happen at all.”_ “Get used to it. Stay with me tonight?” You whispered to him.

Those words seemed to break all of his resolve and he sank his teeth into your shoulder and wrapped his right arm around your waist. The emotions that poured off of him were overwhelming to you, like a tidal wave sweeping you away. Whatever else he had been to you before now, there was no doubt the man cared for you now.

“Y/N…” he murmured, pushing you towards the bathroom. “Bucky?” His hands began unzipping the suit you’d pulled on and pushing it off you. He said nothing, just continued to undress you and press soft kisses into your neck, shoulder, and jaw. Even through the thick leather separating you, his erection pressed into your back. You tilted your head back so he could kiss your lips and sighed contentedly when he did just that. 

Your gear fell to the floor and he began tugging at straps to remove his own. Amused at his frustration, you sat on the edge of your bed to pull off your boots and undergarments. He was so absorbed in undressing himself that he didn’t notice until you rose from the bed, fully nude and wrapped your arms around his waist. A groan escaped him and he wrapped his arms around you, crushing you against his chest before claiming your mouth.

The two of you stood there, embracing and trading kisses…just enjoying the closeness. Bucky’s lips blazed a trail down your collarbone and to your breasts. That sinful tongue of his flicked over your nipple before he sucked it while his thumb massaged the other. Slowly, his mouth found it’s way back to yours.

His hands trailed down to your ass where he squeezed and pulled up on you. You got the hint and leapt up, wrapping your legs around his hips. He held on to you, still massaging your tongue with his and made his way into your bathroom.

With one hand fumbling for the light switch and the other in his hair, you moaned as Bucky rolled his hips against you. The light flickered on and you pulled away to look at his face. Perfect lips were rosy from kisses, blue eyes sparkling with lust. He set you down on the counter next to the sink and reached for the knobs on the shower. Laughing, you hopped down and slapped his bare ass playfully. The overhead shower jets hissed as hot water sprayed out of them and he turned around and raised an eyebrow at you. “It’s like that, huh doll?”

With a mischievous smile, he jerked you to him and dragged you into the shower giggling. He pressed his hard cock into your backside while hands of conflicting temperatures slid over your breasts, down your stomach and gripped your thighs. “Bucky…” You whined as he carefully avoided where you needed him most. He continued teasing, trailing his fingertips all over your body, nibbling at your ear. The steamy shower, Bucky’s hands and lips against your body had you so aroused that you were dizzy.

 _”God help me. Could probably drown a man between my legs right now.”_ You found yourself spun around with your back pressed into the cold tiles. Bucky kissed you until you couldn’t breathe, pressing his body to yours. He nipped your lip and then kissed away the pain. Pulling away, he trailed his hands over your breasts and belly as he knelt and started up at you. You’d never seen a more attractive sight. 

Brown hair was black from the water, droplets slid down his face and dripped from his eyelashes. Those glacial blue eyes were filled with lust and mischief. He’d heard your thought, apparently. Every muscle gleamed from the sheen of water and beads of the liquid sparkled on his left arm. 

“You could drown a man, huh? I volunteer as tribute.” Laughter started to bubble up at his Hunger Games reference (you’d made him watch it with you at one of your motel stops) but your laughter became a strangled moan. 

Bucky spread your thighs apart and tickled your little nub with his tongue. Grabbing a handful of his hair, you angled your hips forward for him. His eyes flicked up to yours as his tongue lapped over your sensitive flesh. You about collapsed when he reached up and inserted a finger into your aching heat. He alternated between fast flicks with the tip of his tongue and long, slow licks that pressed the entire digit against your folds.

You continued watching him, feeling the tell-tale burning sensation flooding your body. Bucky sensed your impending peak and inserted a second finger, biting down on your clit. Your entire body, your soul felt consumed in fire as your orgasm ripped through you. Like a wildfire through dry brush. “B-Bucky, oh. Bucky, Bucky, Buckyyyy. Oh m-my God…” His fingers and tongue continued to work you through your high until you squirmed away from him.

He rose, pressing kisses up your hips, belly and breasts until he found your lips. You could taste the tangy sweetness of yourself on him. “Didn’t drown doll. That’s false advertising.” You laughed against his mouth, still trembling from the sensations that had overwhelmed your body. The water still beat down on both of you, soft pattering that felt so relaxing after his ministrations. Bucky tried to lift your leg and begin rubbing his cock into you but you resisted.

He peered at you curiously, opening his mouth to protest as you sank to your knees. In the past, he had always prevented you from this, but not this time. You weren’t going to take no for an answer this time. Grasping his shaft, you ran your finger over the drop of pre-come leaking from his head. “Doll, you don’t have to-“ His sentence cut off with a hiss as you ran your tongue from the base to his head, lapping up the pre-come. “Y/N…” “Bucky?” You murmured, running your tongue over the head again.

“Let me make you feel good babe, just like you do me.” Your lips wrapped around the head and sucked. _“I want to do this Bucky, I want to taste you.”_ Bucky groaned like a man dying in the best sort of way above you, hands reaching into your soaked hair. “I just don’t want to hurt you, with this.” The metal hand traced your cheek. So you reached up and grabbed it, twined your fingers in his and pressed your mouth down his cock all the way to his hips.

Without resistance, you slipped your mouth up and down his hardness. Head bobbing, his groans blending with your sighs and the pattering of water into a soft lover’s song. Your tongue tasted every bit of flesh it could touch. You traced the veins, lapped up any of the salty liquid that escaped him, and massaged his sac with the hand not clutching his metal fingers. 

With his breathy moans, the way his body twitched, you knew he was close. Your eyes met his and the sheer lust shown there had you clenching your thighs. His lips parted, tongue wetting them as he watched your mouth wrapped around him. 

Tugging up on your hand where it twined with his, he pulled you to your feet and kissed you. “Y/N…Now, please, I-“ He growled when you squeezed his thick cock. “I need you now.” You turned around, pressed your body into the tiles and angled your ass out towards him. Aching to be filled, you spread your legs a little wider. “I’m all yours, Buck.” He bit into your shoulder as he pressed himself inside of you. Both of you keened at the feeling. You, as he stretched you to your limits, just bordering on the pleasant side of painful. He, as your well pulled him in and clutched him like a vice grip.

Bucky set a harsh, fast pace. He’d previously been fairly gentle but something about seeing you on your knees had unleashed something feral in him. He pistoned you, grunting with each thrust. Your name and a slew of praises fell from his lips like a prayer. His name slipped from your lips, breathy and quiet. You were too far gone to be able to find your voice.

He withdrew and turned you around to face him. Heated kisses found your lips, jaw, cheeks, neck....Any part of you he could reach. Your eyes skimmed his face. Those flushed cheeks, lips plumped and rosy from kissing. You ran your fingers through his scruffy beard and licked his lip. His tongue met yours in a now-familiar dance. 

He lifted your left leg and wrapped it around himself, then slid back into you. His fingers found your nub again, pressing hard and rubbing it fiercely as his thrusts became more and more erratic. 

You became aware of how much of his pleasure you were sensing. The sensation was so sharp, so intense. Knowing that it was you who made him lose himself to carnal bliss this way pushed you right up to the edge. That fire that had died down after your first orgasm was a raging inferno in your belly again.

“Come for me darlin’, I love how it feels, how you look, how you sound…” His deep voice was like silk, so smooth in your ear. His hips rolled into you with more ferocity. “So fuckin’ beautiful. And mine. Only I get to hear those sounds, make you come.” 

A hand twined in your hair and jerked your head back so that you were looking up at him. His fingers still worked your pearl. The dirty talk, roughness and sudden possessiveness was _really_ working for you here. “Bucky….” “Tell me, doll.” He crooned. “Tell me you’re mine.”

Your second orgasm washed over you and you practically howled, digging your nails into Bucky’s shoulders. Fire flooded your body once more, every single nerve was tingling. You ground your hips against his, desperately wanting to feel him come. “Bucky!” “Tell me, Y/N, tell me.” His voice sounded softer, while his motions became more harsh and desperate. 

The words tumbled from your lips along with moans. “I’m yours Buck. Oh, mmm. Only yours.” He came with a growl, smashing his mouth to yours as he thrust hard a few more times. “Mine. My Y/N.” _”My Bucky.”_ Blue eyes met yours as you projected the thought. Eyes filled with soft wonder, contentment. Happiness. His warm lips met yours again, in the sweetest kiss the two of you had ever shared. 


	12. Like Hell, Barnes!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Bucky get visitors. The tower gets wrecked, Hulk goes hulking, and all the asses get kicked. :) This is probably my favorite chapter to date and was extremely fun to write! Enjoy! <3
> 
> Trigger warnings: canon-typical violence, with possibly a bit more blood.

You were dead to the world when you were practically ripped out of bed by a frantic, nude Bucky. His panic was palpable. “Get up doll, some shit’s goin’ down.” He was jerking on his shorts with one hand and pawing through the backpack he discarded earlier with the other hand. He dropped it once he pulled out a belt full of knives and a few handguns. You stared at him for a moment, processing what was happening. You weren't even sure what year it was right now, and Barnes was tearing around your room like a tweaked out squirrel. His hair was still a damp, disheveled mess from your shared shower earlier and his crystalline blue eyes were wild. 

He stood up and started pulling on his tactical suit that he'd scooped up from the floor. “Darlin’, you gotta get dressed. C’mon!” A thunderous roar and the sounds of things being pulverized below drove the last of the haze of sleep from your mind. “What in the actual _fuck_ …FRIDAY!?”

“The building has been infiltrated, ma’am. Dr. Banner is-“ her disembodied voice was drowned out by another angry roar and the sounds of screaming far below you. “Hulk.” You, FRIDAY, and Bucky said in unison. “Gonna need new carpet when he’s done making people-paste.” You said, pulling your bag to you to find your guns and grenades. You’d both dropped your things and left them laying where they fell when you arrived. You’d been…distracted, after all.

“Infiltrated by who, FRIDAY?” Bucky asked, but you already knew. “Hydra, Sergeant Barnes. Captain Rogers, Mr. Barton and Dr. Banner are fighting them off below. Your room is being sealed by Mr. Stark’s orders. They are en route now.”

As if on que, thick metal panels dropped over the windows and door. “Like a rat in a very ornate, durable trap. Nice of Tony to give us a god-damn say.” You snapped. Without further prompting from Bucky, you began getting dressed. An annoyed sigh escaped you at the condition of your gear when you swiped it from the floor. You did NOT want to put this grubby get-up back on your (mostly) clean body.

The black Kevlar was covered in dust and grime, and the leather smelled sweaty and stale. There were rips in the knees and elbows. Glancing at your…whatever he was now…you could see his wasn’t much better. The black was now more brown from all the dust and mud. Blood stains marred the Kevlar, the leather was ripped in multiple places. Several straps were torn and his boots were definitely in need of replacement.

Fighting Hydra in worn gear, completely out-numbered. “FRIDAY, how many?” “I detect two-hundred heat signatures inside the building.” Fan-freakin-tastic.

Reaching over, you clutched at Bucky’s shoulders. “Guess hittin’ that base stirred up a hornet’s nest.” “The base was a distraction, Miss Y/L/N. It was empty.” FRIDAY intoned. “Fuck me running...it was empty because they were comin’ here!!” Your voice rose along with your anger. More screaming erupted below. “We gotta go help ‘em, Bucky.”

You started for the door and were jerked back by a cold, metal hand. “For fuck’s sake, Y/L/N. Stark has a better chance of goin’ flat broke than you do of gettin’ out that damned door. Because I’m not letting you anywhere near this shit!” He shoved you back to sit on the bed. “I’ll go help, you stay here.”

“Oh like hell, Barnes. Nope. You aren’t leavin’ me up here like some princess in an extremely fortified tower while you go play the valiant knight! I fight just as well as you do.” He whirled on you, equally worried and angry at your attitude at this, of all times. “Listen to me, woman-“

Oh. No. He. DIDN’T. You yelled over him. “WOMAN!? Did you just call me “woman”? You listen here, you snarky old-“ You were cut off by an explosion at the sealed window. You were eighty-three floors up…which meant someone had a bird firing on you. Both of you looked at the sealed window as second explosion rattled it, then each other. Stark’s fancy panels wouldn’t hold forever.

“If they get that open, we’re cornered Y/N.”

“You just got a promotion. Congratulations, Captain Obvious. A perfect addition to go along with our Captain America.” He grabbed your face in his hands and kissed you. You briefly forgot what was going on, grabbing his wrists and pressing your mouth to his harder. A third boom rattled through the room and you jerked back. Bucky smirked at you. “Had to get me a good luck kiss doll. Now shut your pretty mouth and let’s get that door open.” A gleaming hand gestured at the sealed door.

Oh, you were gonna argue with him later. No doubt about that. When you didn’t have to deal with Hydra swarming like ants on honey. _”Infuriating man.”_ You set to work on the door, tapping the code out on the pad, over-riding the lockdown protocols. _”I gotta remember to thank Nat later for showing me how to do this.”_

The sealed door opened with a hiss and a few clicks. He pressed an earpiece into your hand and pushed his into his ear. “Whatever happens, we stick together.” Bucky nodded at you as you both peered out the door in opposite directions. All clear…but that wasn’t going to last.

***

You made it to the fortieth floor before you ran into any trouble. The two of you had elected to take the stairs rather than risk being caught in the elevator. A bullet whizzing past your face was met with cursing and returned fire from Bucky. More than a little pissed off, you sprinted forward before smashing your knee into the helmeted face of one the intruders. The helmet buckled into his face as you ripped his AK-74 from his hand and smashed the stock into his neck. 

Three well-placed shots dropped three others on the stairs and you actually laughed. You forced terror into all of their minds and they froze for a brief moment. Bucky hurled a grenade like a damned pro and collapsed the doorway on top of the rest of the hostiles standing still in it like idiots.

Bucky’s face was skewed into that cold, emotionless, slightly-maniacal murder face. His posture stiff and imposing. He was alllll Winter Soldier before his face cracked into a smile. “Never get sick of beating the snot outta these jerks.” “Bucky, Y/N!?” Steve’s voice crackled in your ears and you winced. Oh yeah. You were gonna hear about not being locked up in your room while hell broke loose.

“Hi, Rogers! Sorry we’re late for the party.” You chirped, bolting down the stairs. Bucky’s footsteps thunked behind you. You heard gunfire and the sounds of ricocheting bullets. An instant later, the clang of one brightly-painted, super-Patriotic vibranium shield echoed through the comms as it connected to some unfortunate bastard’s skull.

“You weren't even invited to this "party"! Where are you?” The staircase rattled as Hulk tore by below, bellowing and throwing agents around like ragdolls. Bucky peered over the edge of the railing as he responded. “Uh…About floor thirty-five, southeast stair case. Found Hulk, in case you were missing him.”

“How did you get out?” That big vibranium Frisbee clanged again and you just barely made out a few Russian curse words. “Trade secret Cap, can’t answer that.” An annoyed huff was your response. “Romanov and I are going to have a discussion later. An unpleasant one.” Clint’s muffled laughter was followed with “Please make sure I’m around for that chat. Captain America vs Mother Russia, the New Cold War. That'd make a great movie!”

You and Bucky both laughed but Steve was not amused. “Can you crack jokes later, Barton? We have a bit of a situation here.” “Most situations are improved with a little humor, Spangles.” Hawkeye huffed, followed by the stretch and twang of a bowstring.

One of the Hydra agents below was thrown into the wall with a sickening thud before a very large, very angry blur of green sped by again. “Sure is fast for as big as he is…” Bucky murmured as the two of you continued your descent. “Right? Hard to believe that sweet Dr. Banner turns into _that_.” You waved your hand in the general direction that he'd headed. “A giant green rage monster that can destroy a city faster than a nuke?” A smirk twisted Bucky’s perfect mouth as you continued down the stairs. “Yup.”

Another group of hostiles cornered you and opened fire. More than one bullet grazed your flesh where Kevlar didn’t cover you. More than once you or Bucky let out streams of profanity that would have had Rogers in fits, if he wasn’t otherwise occupied. “Today is _not_ the fuckin’ day and I am _not_ the fuckin’ one, fellas. I just wanted ONE night in my own bed but nooooo.” You snapped as your hurled an M84 down the stairs.

The resulting flash and ear-piercing boom had them screaming and Bucky cursing. “Really Y/N? Flashbangs in confined spaces? You got even less sense than Rogers sometimes.” Steve’s voice crackled in your ears. “I heard that, punk.” Bucky shielded you with his left arm and the mangled body of one of the agents, cursing angrily in Russian while returning fire. He was a _much_ better marksman than the idiots firing at you both.

The remainder of the enemy agents promptly got the most amusing, confusing ass beating of their lives in the thirtieth floor stairwell. While you were fighting your way out of the mass of bodies, Hulk leapt up and clung to one of the columns. He reached over the railing and wrapped his gigantic green fingers around the arm of one of the hostiles. Bellowing, he slammed him repeatedly into the other agents like a human baseball bat before dropping him into a bloody heap with the others writhing on the tiled stairs. 

“That’s right Hulk, SMASH! Smash EVERYTHING!” You yelled, laughing. That _had_ to be the greatest thing you’d ever seen the big guy do. A large green face smiled at you before he dropped to the ground below and took off again.

“Why do you encourage him, Y/N? Just to tick off Stark?” Clint asked. “You always were astute, Barton.” The sound of one of his exploding arrows echoed in your ear before he answered. “Pissing off Tony for kicks? I can get behind that.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“FRIDAY, where are they most concentrated?” You asked the AI. “Fourteenth floor, near Captain Rogers. Mr. Barton is closing in on his position.” Bucky grabbed your elbow and pulled you back. “We need a plan, doll. It’s us they’re here for. Not Steve, Clint or Banner.”

You adjusted the collar of your mangled, bullet-riddled suit, and retrieved two of your knives from a body on the ground. “My plan is to go kick every ass that crosses my path. Dunno what yours is babe, but I like mine.”

“Babe? Oh Lucy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do! By the way, I sealed your rooms for a reason. And stop encouraging Banner to break shit.” Tony’s voice teased in your ear. “Stark?” You and Bucky asked in unison, surprised.

“In the flesh. Well, suit. The expensive, awesome red one, with lots of fun things that go “boom”.” A muffled explosion several floors down punctuated the end of that sentence. The sounds of shattering sheetrock were combined with terrified yelling and an angry, drawn out howl. “Romanov, you wanna go take care of your Jolly Green Giant? If he wrecks my lab again, there will be hell to pay.” 

Starkasm. That was what you and Natasha had called the endless font of sarcasm that Tony had available. And in that moment, you realized just how much you had missed even Stark's famously sharp tongue.

A crack of thunder announced Thor’s arrival, and you could hear Sam snipping at Rhodes. Clint was telling Natasha where he last saw Banner and a burst of red energy shattering windows adjacent to the stairwell was evidence that Wanda was in the immediate vicinity. You stifled a grin. Shit was about to get real for these jerks now, the whole team was back.


	13. Of Friends, Family and Enemies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You remember that plot twist I promised? It's here, y'all! 
> 
> Usual trigger warnings apply.

The tower had been cleared in a matter of minutes after the whole crew was together. Several of the agents were alive and were secured in the basement of the tower, to be questioned later. “By question, I mean that Wanda and Y/N are gonna do their thing. It’s kinda hard to lie to people who read minds like Banner reads books.” Tony clarified. All of you were now seated in the ransacked common area, being debriefed. The team had lit the Hydra base up and left behind a pile of rubble, so those who escaped you at the tower had nowhere to go back to.

It was believed this particular threat was over, but going forward, they planned to be more cautious with both you and Barnes. The two of you would be kept under better surveillance, your missions carefully chosen. Everybody seemed relieved that the two of you had proven that could work together effectively.

Clint and Steve kept their mouths shut about you and Bucky, thankfully. You were pretty certain he’d threatened them both. Tony had passed around liquor in celebration and was leaning on the bar, smiling smugly at everyone. _”Here we go…”_ Seated next to Barnes, sipping from your glass, the two of you got some curious looks but you ignored them. Nat looked like she had already figured it all out, sitting there grinning like the cat who ate the canary.

“See? I was right. They’re pals now!” He pointed at you and Bucky. “Can it, Stark.” The big man next to you growled, but he actually wore the smallest of smiles. You saw Steve cover a smile as he scratched at his chin. You made eye contact with Rogers; your own silent threat. One he obviously understood since he nodded slightly with twinkling eyes. You figured he was just happy to see Bucky happy. The former Winter Soldier was obviously more at ease than he had ever been.

Your knee leaned against his. _”You know how much crap we’re gonna get from him when word gets out about…stuff."_ An eyebrow quirked at you. _”Stuff? What stuff would that be, doll?”_ Playing dumb. Of course. _”If you have to ask, maybe you don’t need any more of it.”_

An image of you in a compromising position on a desk, Bucky leaning over you flashed through your mind. _”This stuff?”_ Another image of you with your legs splayed open and his face between your thighs had you clenching your legs. _”Or maybe this stuff?"_ _”You wicked, wicked, evil man.”_ He flashed that billion-dollar smile at you but remained blissfully quiet. His muscular leg pressed against yours harder and Bucky made it look like he was simply man-spreading. But you knew better. He just wanted to touch you.

Your attention was drawn to Thor daring Steve to try to lift Mjolnir again. Tony and Rhodes both groaned; this happened every time Thor started drinking. “Come now, Captain Rogers. Prove your worth! You budged it before!” _This_ was life at the tower when your work was done. This happy, crazy, annoying, blissful chaos.

Your eyes scanned the room, taking in Wanda seated on the sofa, her legs thrown over Vision’s lap. Vision was subtly running his fingers over her knee while she gazed at him in adoration. The two of them always looked so at ease, so happy together. Clint and Sam sat at the bar, laughing as Steve took Thor’s bait and strained to lift the hammer. Bets were made, but nobody ever paid up around here. Sam still owed you a fifty bucks from losing the bet about who could go the longest without swearing during video game night. (excluding Steve).

Pepper had slipped in, raised an elegant eyebrow while surveying the damage. Her voice was barely audible as she quietly told Tony what needed to be done. He was only half paying attention, happily mixing drinks until she pinched the back of his arm and he let out an indignant, pain-filled squawk. The sound of breaking glass echoed from behind the bar as Tony scrambled away from her, knocking bottles to the ground in the process. 

Sam bit back a chuckle, grabbed his drink and the bowl of snack mix and high-tailed it to sit next to you. Clearly, he had no desire to be caught in her crosshairs. The woman brought even Ironman to his knees; half the team was afraid of her. The Falcon offered the bowl he was snacking out of you and you happily grabbed a handful. It was that spicy Cajun snack mix with the peanuts and sesame sticks that he'd been obsessed with lately and it was _good_. 

Bucky's eyes landed on the food in your hand and he suddenly helped himself. You promptly licked the remaining pile of peanuts in your hand and Bucky laughed. "Your spit ain't gonna stop me, darlin'." Sam watched the exchange and met your eyes grinning. "Don't you do it Sam. You keep your mouth shut or I'll turn you over to Pepper!" You hissed at him. His eyes slid to Pepper where she had Tony pinned against the wall with only her gaze; the cowed billionaire was nodding at whatever she said. He gave a subtle nod and smiled before holding out the bowl again as a peace offering. You nudged him with an elbow and laughed, grabbing enough to share with Bucky this time.

Bruce was pressing his cold glass to his head and Nat patted his knee comfortingly. A gentle, shy smile pulled at his lips. He often got headaches after the big guy took over, and the Black Widow cast her “I’m a bad bitch” attitude into the wind to take care of him. The only time you ever saw Natasha be truly gentle was in his presence, though you knew she had a good heart deep down. 

More than once, she’d sat with you after you first arrived here, offering silent support and not-so-silent requests that you spar with her. She tested your mettle and had apparently been pleased with what she found. You two had formed a deep friendship, having both suffered to become what you were...both having a dark history that you were working hard to make right. You loved seeing her happy with Banner. The tower was just FILLED with unlikely, odd couples. Nat and Banner, Wanda and Vision, Tony and Pepper...you and Bucky. Of course, odd couples were bound to happen in a place filled with odd people.

These people were a mess. But they were your mess, your friends, your family. It was so good to be home.

***

Bucky had slunk up to his room an hour before you, abandoning the group below who were still celebrating. You _could_ have gone back to your room, but you had gotten used to sleeping next to him. After all the excitement of the day....you needed it. You needed him, to feel the mental connection you shared. You needed his warm body beside you, his deep voice whispering to you in the darkness. His gentle caresses on your skin had become part of your nightly ritual, lulling you to sleep. Seeing you relaxed seemed to relax him as well.

Smiling softly to yourself, you realized you might just be falling for a guy that a month ago, you would have been happy to never see again. You’d expected to find redemption during your work with the Avengers, but never a lover. 

You entered the code on the pad near his door, and slipped inside quietly. He’d given you the code earlier that night, his thoughts penetrating your mind and pleading with you to come up later. It was all dark and his room was rather plain. There were a few intricately woven blankets from his time in Wakanda, carefully folded and laid across the empty chair near his desk. A finely crafted vibranium knife that had been a farewell gift from Shuri was displayed on the painfully sparse bookshelf. _"I gotta loan this guy some books. He has a lot of reading to catch up on..."_

His bedding was white and blue, probably not something he picked out, you figured. The colors screamed "STEVE" and a few knick-knacks sat on the bedside table...definitely from Steve. You squinted towards his bed, confused that it was still made and appeared empty. You spotted a broken glass on the floor in the small kitchenette, a chair askew at the table. Worry filled your heart; where was he? “Babe?” You whispered into the dark room.

You reached out with your mind, feeling a sinister and familiar presence at the same time a sharp pain in your neck had you whirling around. A man slipped from the shadows, grinning with a syringe in hand. The sting of the sedative in your veins was painfully familiar; it was one that had been developed especially for your enhanced body. One you couldn’t metabolize quickly. One that rendered you unconscious in large enough doses.

Staggering against the small table, you squinted and saw Bucky incapacitated and bound. A small electro-disk attached to his arm was evidence that the intruder had fried it to weaken him. Your heart thudded painfully and you were filled with protective, feral rage at the sight. His prone body leaned against the wall behind the man advancing on you.

You recognized this man…Big, brown hair and brown eyes. Cruel, dark eyes. He was the one who’d tortured you, trying to break you during your time as Hydra’s captive and guinea pig. The very same monster who killed Kevin. A few bruises mottled his face and his gear was damaged; Bucky had apparently fought back before the sedative took effect. 

“FRIDAY!?” You called out…but received no response.

Pushing through the dizziness caused by the drug to stay on your feet, you swung at his face. The blow connected but he shook it off as he wrapped his hand around your throat. He was impossibly strong, almost like... _”Oh fuck. No. No!"_

Through the haze filling your mind, you realized Hydra had dosed him with a similar serum to what you’d been given. They had created the perfect storm of chaos and confusion to leave you and Bucky vulnerable. And then they had made a perfectly patient, cruel and crafty hunter to take you both down. The sadistic bastard who’d nearly broken you before, right here in front of you. Your rage peaked even further.

You swung again, watching his cheekbone buckle under the force you’d mustered. His fingers loosened enough for you to break loose and slam your fist into his throat. He laughed low and deep, and stood back. Letting you wear yourself down while the drug took effect. As you swayed on your feet, he aimed a vicious kick at your head and you went down like a sack of bricks. 

Nausea clawed at your throat as you pushed up weakly, screaming inside for your muscles to cooperate. You tried to scream for help but your voice came out as a hoarse whisper. His boot connecting to your temple was the last thing you felt before your vision went black. A voice, heavy with a thick Russian accent teased you as you fell unconscious. 

“Got you, printsessa. Oh, I have missed you and your defiance. You and your soldier are coming back with me.”


	14. WHAT!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all Avengers interactions, our favorite former-Hydra bad-asses are absent, for obvious reasons. Things get heated when the team discovers that they've misplaced two super soldiers.

Sam made his way into the common area, expecting to see you sitting in your usual spot, enjoying the quiet before the raucous bullshit of the day started once everybody was up. He’d woken up excited to have you back, knowing you’d be making coffee. Nobody else seemed to make it right. Unfortunately, you weren’t there. All he found was Steve, fighting with the coffee pot. “Where’s Sunshine at?”

“Probably still asleep. I got the coffee started.” Sam wrinkled his nose. “Yeah no, I’m good.” He turned around and peered at the Falcon with confusion. “Your coffee tastes like dirt, man. I’ll go steal one of Tony’s Redbulls.” Steve snorted. “Because those taste so much better.” “Certainly tastes better than caffeinated mud, Rogers.” 

“He has a point, Captain. That tepid bean juice you brew would drop a bilgesnipe in it’s tracks.” Thor chuckled as he dug around in the fridge. The sounds of containers being opened and shoved around broke the quiet morning ambiance while Sam sighed, digging in a cabinet where he knew Stark kept his stash. Even room temperature Redbull was better than the current alternative. That shit Steve brewed was sin masquerading as coffee; blasphemy in a mug.

Thor was chugging milk straight from the jug before Clint wandered in and snatched it from him. The God of Thunder raised an eyebrow at him. “Really? We had this discussion, Thunderbutt. This bullshit-” Hawkeye shook the half empty gallon of milk “is why everyone has to eat dry cereal.”

“Sometimes, it’s really like living in a frat house.” Wanda sighed as she walked in behind Natasha. “No Barnes? Or Tony? It may be a pleasant morning after all. Frat house vibes or not.” The Russian assassin said, plunking down on a stool and grabbing an apple from the bowl on the counter. “Where’s Y/N?” 

“Barnes is probably dreaming murderous dreams involving Hydra. Tony is probably down there fighting with Dum-E again.” Clint said, sitting down with a couple of donuts on a paper towel. He’d given up on the milk for cereal and Thor was finishing it off while eating whatever he could get his hands on. “If I were Y/N, I’d be enjoying sleeping in my own bed again. Making sure we are supplied with coffee and smiles is probably not at the top of her priority list today.”

Bruce sat down on the other side of Natasha, cup of coffee in hand. “You’re risking your life to drink Rogers' mud water?” He grinned a little. “I’ve consumed worse, thanks to Hulk.” “That shit-“ She pointed at the cup in his hand “may just wake him up.” Bruce let out a rare laugh and Nat bumped his shoulder with her own. “Well, I wasn’t planning on leveling Manhattan today, but if I do, we’ll pin the blame on this.” He lifted his mug a bit before taking a sip.

“Come on guys, it’s not that bad.” Steve defended himself. “Rogers, I think those years on ice ruined your taste buds.” Clint teased with a shit-eating grin. 

***

It was now well after noon, and Steve was becoming concerned about both you and Bucky. He suspected the two of you were together, doing things he really didn’t want to think about. But it was extremely unusual for James Buchanan Barnes to miss both breakfast and lunch. His eating habits were the only truly predictable thing about him these days. Hangry Bucky was not a fun man to contend with.

Steve decided to try your room first. When knocking yielded no response, he punched your code in to let himself in. He knew it from you telling him once when he had to carry you up and put you to bed. You’d kept up shot for shot with Thor and paid the price…but you did walk away with Clint owing you an un-named future favor for that stunt. The memory almost drew a chuckle from him; Thor had his first real hangover the morning after that.

 _”Please be decent, please be decent. I’ve seen Bucky naked once and that was enough…”_ The door clicked open and he stepped inside.

The room was empty. The bed with it’s green and mauve sheets was still a mess and he looked away, blushing. He knew what his best pal had done to you on that bed. Both your bag and Bucky’s still lay near the overstuffed chair in your reading nook. A shelf full of books had him thinking he should ask to borrow a few. 

The fish in the tank by your desk swam around, hoping for a meal. Plants were scattered everywhere, along with photos of your relatives. Your sketchpad lay open on your desk. He examined a half finished drawing of Pietro that you had started as a gift for Wanda weeks ago. You were every bit as good of an artist as he was; the half finished work of art on the desk captured the dead man’s likeness perfectly. 

Your room was surprisingly cozy. He peered into the open bathroom door and saw nothing out of the ordinary. Towels tossed over the shower curtain rod, cosmetics and hygiene products lay strewn about on the built-in vanity. Your small kitchenette was tidy, with a bowl of candy on the table and a single glass in the sink.

Carefully sneaking back out of your quarters, he headed to Bucky’s room. He beat on the door and waited. Nothing. “Buck!” He beat on the door again. Positive he was about to find the two of you in a compromising situation, he entered Bucky’s code and slipped inside. The room was in total disarray. Only one phrase fit the situation. ”Oh, shit.”

***

“Excuse me, what do you mean “they’re gone”?” Tony stared at Steve with a confused expression, leaning over his desk in the lab. His hair was a tousled mess and was wearing sunglasses inside. “Very hungover” would have been an understatement and he was not in the mood for whatever pranks and BS these people were up to. “Gone! Not here!” “Christ, keep your damned voice down, Captain Goody-Two-Shoes.”

“I am surprised a headache is all you have the matter with you. You drank enough last night to put many an Asgardian under the table.” Thor interjected.

Wanda stood quietly, watching the exchange with her arms crossed. Clearly worried. Vision stood beside her, his shoulder brushing hers. “FRIDAY, I need surveillance for Barnes’ and Y/L/N’s rooms for the past twenty-four hours.” “No data found, Mr. Stark.” The AI replied. 

”What?” Tony threw his hands up and peered at the ceiling. “Surveillance for the entire building for the past twenty-four hours, then.”

“No data found, sir.”

”WHAT!?” He tossed the Raybans he was wearing on to his desk, squinting at the bright light that threatened to burn his retinas away.

“One of the windows of Bucky’s room was melted. Several syringes were found on the floor. Banner tested the residue inside them. It was some sort of tranquilizer.” Rogers informed him. Bruce stood to the side, nodding. “Y/N’s room seemed untouched. But I found this on his floor.” 

Steve held up a familiar silver locket. One that you had made in Stark’s lab after he allowed you access to his tools. Tony took it carefully, expression growing more concerned while he untangled the broken chain. His lips pulled tight and his brows scrunched together as he opened it. Photos of your mom, dad and sister were inside. You had used the 3D printer to make it, and had sat for hours watching it take shape. You were never without it, always wearing it or having it tucked securely into a pocket. Stark pocketed it, still frowning.

Sam stood beside Steve, arms crossed. “They kept us scrambling around like a buncha idiots and now they got ‘em both when we let our guard down. This was extremely well planned and executed.”

“So someone temporarily disabled FRIDAY, slipped in, incapacitated them, and managed to get out, unseen, with 2 drugged super soldiers…then cleared FRIDAY’s archives.” Tony ran his hand over his face tiredly. “This just became extremely personal. The only assholes who get to break my stuff and live to tell about it are you people. And nobody takes my people, either.” 

He leaned against his desk, crossing his arms. His expression said he was deep in thought. “Also, why was Y/N in there?”

“Long story. One that can wait until after we find them and get them home safe, sound and preferably sane. This whole stinkin' thing is really beginning to feel like one big shell game.” Clint leaned against the doorway, sandwich in hand. He took another bite, ignoring the glare from Sam.

Maybe everybody else was going to ignore the fact that it was dinner time, but not him. If he was going on a wild goose chase for two former Hydra assassins kidnapped by other Hydra assassins like some really bloody soap opera type of BS…he wasn’t going on an empty stomach.

“Wait. Are they…? Oh. My. God. Frosty and Sunshine!? Has the Manchurian Candidate been stuffin’ that muffin’!?” Steve and Clint groaned, the latter throwing his nearly finished sandwich at Stark. Dodging aside, Tony pressed again. “They are, aren’t they!? They’re doing the horizontal hokey-pokey! Rollin’ their oats! She’s been polishing his piston!” Thor choked on a laugh as he watched Cap turn a vibrant shade of red. “Oh man, Barnes and I are gonna have a little chat later!” 

“God fucking damn it Tony, can we worry about that when we get them back!?” The snickers, groans and protests of the team fell silent as they gaped. Steven Grant Rogers... America's perfect, pure, righteous gentleman had just dropped the F bomb. 

“I’m going to ignore the fact that Captain Stick-In-The-Mud just cursed _and_ blasphemed in the same sentence.” Rogers glared at him, those “you bring shame upon your country” eyes at full force. “I mean. Y/N is bangin’ Robocop….nothing can surprise me anymore.” Stark nodded at Wanda. “Alright Maximoff, you’re up. Let’s go see Thor’s little buddy downstairs.”


	15. Always so Defiant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Russian translations (provided by Google Translate):  
> Lyobovnik - lover  
> Krasota - beauty  
> Sver - beast  
> Printessa - princess  
> Soldat - soldier
> 
> Trigger warnings: Excessive cursing, violence, and the faintest hint of a threat of sexual assault. Just barely, but want to put it out there because I know some people are very sensitive to that topic. 
> 
> Comments and kudos always appreciated! <3 Thanks for reading, loves!

You woke with your stomach roiling, and whatever you were laying on was as hard as a rock. Attempting to sit up, you found yourself restrained. SHIT. Your mind became clear instantly as you recalled your last memories. The fight at the tower, finding Bucky drugged and bound, getting sedated yourself…and that sadistic fuckwad who’d killed the first man you loved. 

Oh, if you got loose…you were going to rip his mind apart before you killed him. And enjoy every moment of it. Anger currently sapped all good sense and crushed your fear.

“Ah, Sleeping Beauty is awake. You see, Soldat? Your little lyobovnik is fine.” Of course the prick was here. Of course he was. Peering to your right, you saw Bucky strapped down the same way you were, left arm still disabled. Both of you were on opposite sides of a dingy, dimly lit cell. 

You could feel Bucky’s worry for you. But overpowering that was anger. A towering, burning, deadly rage that was even more powerful than your own. He wanted to do horrible, bloody things to the man looming over you both. And you sensed he would enjoy doing so. Suppressing a shudder, you realized the Winter Soldier was still very much a part of this man, regardless of how well he kept him under control most days.

“So sweet, the little Krasota and the Sver. Is this mindless monster really an improvement over that weakling guard?” He walked over and ran a finger over Bucky’s cheek and he flinched away, cursing at your captor in Russian. “Mmmm not so mindless anymore I see. But so strong, so handsome. I see why you want him. A shame you will forget each other when we scramble your brains like eggs.”

“Ya know what, Boris? All these years later... you still fuckin’ talk too much.” You were waaaaayyy too angry to watch your tongue. “Boris is not my name.” “It’s a nicer name than you deserve, asshole. Would you prefer Comrade Fuckwit? Moose-fucker? Oh, I know-“ He grabbed your jaw and wrenched your face towards his, brown eyes full of hate and…lust? “Such language for such a pretty little thing.”

“You fuckin’ son of a bitch! Get your god-damn fuckin’ hands OFF of her, you disgusting cock-sucking piece of shit! I’m gonna tear your guts out and strangle your miserable ass to death with ‘em!” Bucky yelled, jerking at his restraints. You’d heard him curse before, but that was quite the mouthful. Even for Bucky Barnes. Boris’ eyes raked over you, silently taunting your partner as disgust flooded your body. 

He had made innuendos before but had never acted on it. But that was when he was weak and knew you’d tear his balls off. That was before Hydra had juiced his ass up and made him as strong as you or Bucky.

“In your god-damned dreams, Comrade Chucklefuck. Try it and see if you don’t spend the rest of your days carrying your bits around in a fuckin’ jar.” Your body may have been too restrained to do much but your mind was much stronger that it was when you saw this dickhead last.

You lashed out with all your might, your mind overpowering his. He let go of your jaw and clutched his head as he staggered back. Anger was your weapon now and you wielded it like a sharp blade to gouge into his consciousness. Digging for information while making him suffer. “This is going to make our superiors so very happy, printsessa. So strong you’ve become.”

With that, he turned on his heel and strode out of the room, slamming the heavy metal door behind him.

The small cell echoed briefly with the sound. You focused on your breathing, trying to take in all the information you had gleaned from the big Soviet Shithead. That, paired with the orders you’d found on the agents painted one ugly picture. Getting out of here, and causing as much collateral damage as possible was all you could think about. 

To say you were pissed was an understatement. The bastards had kidnapped you, threatened you and Bucky…threatening him had sealed their fate. You’d happily die to take them all out and make sure he escaped. He’d lost enough years of his life to these monsters.

“Doll? Look at me, please look at me.” His voice sounded so small. You’d never heard him sound so broken, and you felt his guilt. You tilted your head to the side and stared into his impossibly blue eyes. A thousand emotions filled those cerulean depths and his handsome features were arranged into an expression of worry. Feeling your face soften as you peered at him, you offered the closest to a smile that you could manage. 

“I’m so sorry, this is all my fault. The fucker was in my room, injected me with something before I knew he was there. It’s my fault, I was distracted. I felt safe in that damned tower, safe after the team showed up. I should have never let my guard down. I’m so sorry. I will rip his throat out through his asshole if he touches you, I swear to God. Y/N I-“

He was talking so fast, so panicked. It broke your heart and you cut him off. “Bucky, this isn’t your fault. And we are gonna get out of this. Together.” Y/N, I-“ You shushed him again. “Sweetheart, save your strength. You’re gonna need it for us to get out of here.” God what you wouldn’t give to be able to touch him right now, feel the comfort of his fingers twined in yours.

“Do you have a plan?” He whispered, so soft you could barely hear him. Did you? Maybe. _”I have the beginning of one.”_ His eyes widened as he heard your thought, without the bodily contact usually required. 

***

“I’m not telling you anything, witch!” The bruised man spat at Wanda. Tony laughed under his breath, leaning against the wall near the door. “That’s what they all say.” Their “guest” was strapped to an infirmary bed and had been stitched up after his previous encounter with one angry Asgardian god. Wanda crossed her arms and gave him a cold smile. “You don’t have to. I’ll find out one way or the other.” She said softly, but her sweet voice was tinged with obvious threat.

The man started cursing and jerking at the straps but went still when Thor walked in behind her. One didn’t forget having one’s ass folded by a man who looked like he walked off the Game of Thrones set, wielding a giant hammer. He smiled and leaned against the door, crossing his arms over his chest. He was pure, effortless intimidation.

Tony jerked his chin towards the bed. “Do your thing, if that doesn’t work…we’ll let Thor have a few minutes with him.” Wanda strode forward, streams of red dancing around her fingertips. She leaned down and met the terrified Hydra operative’s eyes. “We made you and you help _them?!_ ” She pressed the tip of her index finger to his temple and he winced. 

“This is personal. You took my friend.” Red energy flickered over his face, through his eyes. The man squirmed and groaned. “Fight me and it will hurt. In the end, I will still get what I want.”

***

Thor and Tony opened the door to find the rest of the team gathered around it, waiting outside. Wanda pushed through them, heading down the hall towards the cells containing the remaining agents. “Well?” Steve asked her as she strode by. “There are three possible locations where they have been taken. He doesn’t know so maybe one of these-“ She gestured down the well-lit, almost painfully white hallway. “will know more.”

Rogers ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Work fast, the longer they have them…the worse this could go when we find them.” The concern he felt was evident in his body language, his tone of voice. His forehead was creased with worry and his blue eyes were stormy with anger. 

Tony proceeded to follow her into the first room and waved Thor off. He rejoined the waiting group, looking vaguely disappointed that he would not be getting to hit anything today. “I hate the waiting game, just gimme something to shoot at.” Barton sighed. “Calm down, bird-brain. I get the feeling you’ll have all the targets you could ever want before too long.” Natasha quipped and Sam grinned at them.

Dr. Banner gave them side-eye and went back to whatever it was he was he was working on. He tapped the edge of the Starkpad, his face equal parts angry and amazed. “The drugs they used on them…would be enough to put an African elephant under for days. I don’t even want to imagine how they designed and tested these…” Nat looked up at him. “Y/N. She was their test subject for all sorts of things. I suspect Barnes was too, but I’ve never asked. He already shot me twice.”

Steve was fidgety, unusually fidgety and kept pacing. Wilson clapped him on the shoulder. “We’re gonna get ‘em back, man. They got one of my best friends…and that shit just ain’t gonna fly.”

A terrified scream echoed down the hall and everyone paused. Several more screams split the air followed by a crash; all at once everyone pushed and shoved at each other to get to the first room. Wanda threw the door open with a clang, looking angry. “Move. I need the next one.” They all peered past her at the man on the cot, babbling incoherently. He was clutching his head, curled into the fetal position. Tony was standing over him and looked up. He shrugged. 

“He fought her. Some people have no sense of self-preservation.”

The sound of a slamming door echoed down the hallway. Wanda’s voice could just barely be heard as she coerced the man. “May as well get comfortable, guys. We may be here awhile.” Tony ushered them out of the cell and pulled the heavy metal door shut behind him.

***

You weren’t sure how long you lay there in the dark, tugging at the straps that held you down. You could only assume they were made of either vibranium or Hulk’s hair. Because you hadn’t been able to snap them and now you were covered in bruises. “Doll, you’ve been fighting with those for hours.” Hypocrite. He’d been tugging at his too, as best as he could with just one working arm. “You don’t have a watch Barnes, you don’t know how long it’s been.”

 _“Long enough to know you aren’t gettin’ loose.”_ You shot him a glare. Having him in your head was nice sometimes…until his attitude surfaced. He had been stunned to hear your personal thoughts without touching physically earlier, and you’d been even more stunned to hear his. It had been an attempt born of desperation; the hope was that it would work, giving the two of you means to scheme against your captors without being heard. You’d been practicing this new trick for hours now, offering silent words of encouragement and planning multiple scenarios for escaping.

Both of you stared at each other a moment, before you heard footsteps echoing in the hallway. _”Three of em, doll.”_ You nodded silently, trusting his count. He had incredible hearing. _”Here we go…”_ The steps stopped in front of your door, there was the sound of keys before it screeched open.

The shithead asshole you called Boris strode through, a cold smile on his vile face. Two nervous scientists in white coats stood behind him. He rattled off something in Russian that was too fast for you to follow. Bucky apparently understood, because he started spewing profanity and thrashing. You may not have known Russian well, but you knew he’d just insulted them, their families, their pets, and each and every ancestor. The cold smile on Boris’ face grew even colder and turned your blood to ice. 

You stabbed at the edges of their minds, manipulating their emotions and hoping to send them running in terror before they could complete whatever task they were there for. The scientists froze before Boris shoved one forward towards Bucky. “Ignore her mind tricks, she is not a threat tied up like the animal she is.” You snarled at him and jerked at your restraints again. "I'll show you an animal, you ass-faced piece of shit." 

The man’s hands shook as he uncapped a syringe and jammed it into Barnes’ right arm as he screamed in Russian and English. “Now, now Soldat. Perhaps if you comply without fuss, I will let you keep her.” The big Russian cooed mockingly at Bucky. 

“Get away from him, you goddamned asshole. I will fuckin’ tear your head off!” You yelled, straining against the straps on the bed with all of your strength. 

A horrific metallic screech shuddered in the air as the stress increased on your restraints. The one on your right arm snapped and you swung, trying to make contact with someone. You didn’t give two shits who at this point. Realizing nobody was in arm's reach, you began trying to pry open the thick metal band encasing your left arm. Boris stared with surprise at the snapped restraint and started towards you. “And you. Always so defiant. That will change soon enough.” 

Bucky was still cursing as they turned to you, and Comrade Asshole grabbed your arm. He got a swift punch in the ribs and another in the nose before he restrained it. Blood dripped down his face as he slapped you. He gestured at you, thrashing below him. "Do what you are here for before I snap your neck!" The obviously terrified white-clad man stuck an unnecessarily large needle into your arm and dosed you with a sedative cocktail. You lunged at him and he scrambled back, nearly falling over his own feet. “Leave him here. She comes with us." 

*** 

Wanda strode back down the corridor, her expression grim but triumphant. Rogers met her half way, trying to tune out the babbling and moaning of the men in the cells on both sides of the hallway. “Well?” “I know where they are.” For the first time that day, Steve smiled. It was a harsh, ugly smile…full of deadly promise. So extremely uncharacteristic of him that Wanda shuddered. Someone was in for one hell of an ass-kicking. “Thank you…” 

Tony walked past Steve and put an arm over Wanda’s shoulders. He handed her a warm cup of coffee which she accepted gratefully. It had become habit for him to bring her a warm drink after she interrogated captured enemies; he knew it helped calm her nerves and mind. He did the same thing for Y/N when she interrogated as well; Tony gave his team a lot of shit but he also tried to take care of them. “We good?” She nodded. “Let’s go fill Hill in and get this show on the road.” 


	16. Experiment 89

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usual trigger warnings of violence and cursing. Fair bit of angst here, I mean...how could there not be? Hydra has recaptured the reader and is about to subject her to the same bullshit they put our darling Bucky through.

You knew what the chair was for before Boris ever threw your barely conscious body into it and strapped you down, still struggling. This had been a powerful image in Bucky’s mind, recurring in his nightmares. It had always been so clear. The sound it made, the sensations he felt while strapped into it. Even the smell. The thing practically reeked of sweat and terror. The metal was positively frigid and the leather stuck to the flesh of your back from the cold sweat that had broken out all over your body.

Your shirt had been cut away, leaving you in just an old Nike sports bra and the ragged pants that had once been part of your tactical suit. Patches were stuck to your torso and on your temples. A small screen next to you showed your brainwave patterns. The seat under you was hard and uncomfortable. But you knew it could good much worse. Looking up at the circular apparatus above you, you knew it _was_ going to get much worse.

Another fidgety sort slipped a heart rate monitor over your finger. Your vitals popped up on the screen, just below your brain waves. Heart rate, blood pressure, body temperature…all elevated. Not really a surprise there. He was surprisingly careful when he stuck an IV into your arm. More sedatives…great. “Experiment 89 is prepped and ready.”

Ah, how could you have forgotten the charming, unique name they’d given you all those years ago? You didn’t even _have_ a name as far as they were concerned. Only Kevin had ever bothered to learn and call you by your name during the time you were captive. Regret filled you and you bit back a sob, holding in tears that burned your eyes.

_”Oh Kevin. You worked so hard to see me set free…I’m so sorry I couldn’t save you. I failed you…and here I am again. Trapped. Your sacrifice and my suffering were a waste. And Bucky…if they take him from me like they did you, I will spend the rest of my life killing these fuckers in the most horrible ways I can imagine.”_

“What if this strips her of her mental abilities?” The question hung in the air; the room becoming silent except for the beeping of your heart rate monitor and Comrade Asshole tapping his foot. Anger flooded you. _”Skinny little lab geek asshole, you could only be so fucking lucky…”_

Truthfully, you weren’t sure what this machine would do to you. Sure, you knew what it had done to your lover. You had an inkling of what to expect. Skull crushing pressure, electrical currents ripping through your head, a deep hum that reverberated in your very bones. Pain so intense that it had no verbal description in any of the languages you or Bucky knew. Memories dragged from the darkest corners of your mind, shredded with each pulse of the machine. It had all been clear in Bucky’s mind. 

But his mind was wired entirely different from your own. You hoped you would prove to be uniquely resistant to this monstrosity you were strapped into. Of course, it was no question that you were scared shitless of being robbed of everything that made you who you were. Becoming a mindless murderer after escaping that life and becoming a protector was among your worst fears. Losing who you were, losing your friends and family, losing Bucky…all terrified you beyond good sense.

Either way…you were a survivor and you were gonna put up one hell of a fight. You were determined to prove that your mind was stronger than this infernal device…Determined to protect Bucky like you had failed to do for Kevin. Determined to survive. 

Swallowing your fear, you forced yourself to breathe. Steeling yourself for what was to come, you clenched your fists and bit your lip.

You didn’t dare hope your friends would be able to track you and show up before something horrible happened. Your chance at freedom relied upon your abilities alone; you couldn’t risk thinking any differently. Your own future hinged on your ability to resist whatever they did to you...Bucky’s future hinged on the half-concocted plan you had cobbled together. The one that was dependent on you having full command of your faculties. Which was going to be even more difficult, since they kept giving you enough drugs to kill a goddamned horse. Your tolerance was not what it had been when you had been their captive years ago.

“She is still enhanced, even without her mind tricks. Begin the procedure.” One of the milling doctors tapped your lips with a mouth guard and you glared at him. His eyes were frightened, as they should be. If you had even a single arm free right now, half the people in this room would be dead. Deciding to have a little fun and revenge, you obediently opened your mouth…and snapped down like a bear trap on his pointer finger.

A shriek split the air as your teeth dug into the first joint of his index finger. Grinding down harder, you felt blood spurt. Even as he slammed his fist into your head, you held on. The chaos around you as people scrambled to get him free of you would have been funny, if you weren’t in such a powerless position. You bit down harder still, feeling the bone crush under your teeth. 

The warm, metallic taste of blood in your mouth was disgusting but made you feel even more vicious at the same time. The doctor was still screaming as another came over and began hitting you in the head. Their punches were painfully weak and you locked your jaw, forcing your teeth through the bone. A grim, harsh chuckle bubbled up in your throat. Even this small act of defiance gave you satisfaction in a way few things could.

Boris hit you in the jaw, finally causing you to release your prey. The son of a bitch had a mean right hook, like getting hit in the head by a bus. You grinned up at him with your best Winter Soldier imitation. Eyes cold and unblinking, with blood dripping from the corner of your mouth. Pushing through the drugged haze, you pressed into his mind. Searching for weaknesses and character flaws, dragging them to the forefront to taunt him. He watched you, eyes full of malice and a trace of fear as you manipulated his emotions. 

You weren’t the weak teenager he’d tormented so long ago. You’d had a taste of freedom, and a chance to grow. He had all the power over you physically…but he still feared your mind. It was a weapon he was determined to strip you of. The doctor was still cursing while his colleagues doused his finger in iodine and wrapped it to staunch the blood flow. A nurse increased the dosage of sedative dripping into your arm. “If this does not break you, your Soldat will when I am through with him, printsessa.”

“Eat shit, you vodka-swilling, inbred swine.”


	17. Survive

Oh HELL did your head hurt. You were dizzy, disoriented and nauseated. The electrical shocks that had shot through your skull were exactly as Bucky had described. Like the worst migraine you’d ever known, paired with unbelievable pressure. The pain had been sharp and throbbing at the same time. Your eyes felt like they were going to explode; teeth ached like Hulk himself had punched you in the mouth. (It didn’t help that you actually _had_ been punched in the mouth.) Every inch of skin was slick with cold sweat, every muscle in your body screamed in agony.

It had taken every last bit of your strength to hold on to your mind against that thing. You’d felt old memories become hazy, fragmented. The names of loved ones become harder to remember, though you recognized their faces. Through the pain, you’d built up your mental walls, shoring up the foundations of your mind and protecting yourself as best as you could. After what felt like hours, the humming of the machine had ceased. You’d lost bits and pieces, but the whole was maintained.

Your blood rushed in your ears and you vomited as soon as Boris hauled you to your feet. He’d laughed at your misery and shoved you to the floor when the contents of your stomach had splattered on his shoes. The little weasels in lab coats were apparently even fonder of their drugs than they had been years before, because they dosed you into unconsciousness and hauled you from the floor. Strapped back on the gurney, you were wheeled back into the dingy cell you shared with Bucky. You’d become barely conscious again when you heard the metal door clang shut.

Bucky’s voice reached your ears but the words barely registered. Your sweet Bucky…who’d been screaming himself hoarse since they’d taken you. Even over your own screams, you’d heard his. Comrade Dickhead was leaning over you again, a taunting grin on his face. You were too far gone to follow his words either, but you were certain he was being his usual prick self. Refusing to respond, you remained silent.

You didn’t want him to realize that while painful, his toy had not been as effective as he hoped. The last thing you wanted was to be put back in the chair…you needed to recover your strength. Resisting it was apparently possible, but not if you were as weak as you felt right now. Bucky’s angry voice rose again, splitting through your hazy thoughts as he cursed in every language he knew at the man leaning over you.

“Patience, soldier. Perhaps I’ll let you touch her…when your mind is broken and you are no longer a threat. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Perhaps you’d be more compliant if we allowed some of your… physical needs to be met?” 

Hands ruffled your sweaty hair and a rough finger trailed down your cheek. Unable to help it, you flinched. “Ah if only those fools had been more careful with your mindless beast before, we could breed you. What amazing soldiers your progeny with this one would be!” It took all of your willpower not to let the big ugly bastard have it right then and there but you carefully kept your face blank, eyes unfocused.

The minute he left the room, Bucky was whispering at you frantically. “Y/N? Doll? Please say something. Please!” _”I’m ok Bucky, just need to rest.”_ His relief slammed into you, nearly overwhelming. _”They put you in the chair, I heard it. Are you…is everything…”_ _”I’m ok, I’m still mostly whole..."_

The door opened again a moment later, guards standing with weapons trained on you both. Bucky’s terror washed over you and you fought your own, trying to remain neutral faced. One wrong move and they would know they’d failed and every chance of gaining your freedom would be lost. As skilled as the team was…you didn’t dare count on them to turn up before these assholes either broke one of you or killed one of you. You needed them to feel secure, to let their guard down...and then every last one of these fuckers was going to die. More scientists entered, and your sadistic Russian tormentor smiled. “One more to go.”

***

“We will likely need to wipe her just once more before programming can begin. It would be unwise to damage her mind more than needed, her talents are useful.” The short man in the white coat turned his attention from the computer screen to Bucky. “What about this one? How much for him?” 

The big Russian shifted his gaze to the heavily sedated shirtless man in the chair. They’d been forced to give him a near fatal dose, he’d screamed and fought so much he’d overturned the gurney he was strapped down to. Even though the restraints had been crafted from a vibranium alloy, they took no chances. With or without his left arm disabled, he was incredibly strong. “As many times as is necessary, and immediately program him. We need them ready to fight by the time we are found.”

“I will have the techs on standby to repair the arm.”

Bucky was vaguely aware of his surroundings, his stomach churning violently. He couldn’t focus his eyes on anything and his muscles felt like pudding. The frighteningly familiar feel of sweat-slicked leather and metal restraints cut through the drugged haze. They had added additional restraints, no doubt a decision made after she had snapped one of hers earlier. Anger, fear, anxiety, pain…he had been reduced to the sum of his emotions. 

His left shoulder still burned like fire, nerves screaming in agony. The big Russian asshole had slapped a small EMP device on it when he ambushed him in his room, overloading and frying it. The sensation had been overwhelming when it had reached the attached nerve endings. Shuri had done a wonderful job at creating a new prosthetic; it was more powerful and capable of a broader range of sensations. Bucky had enjoyed feeling more up until his enemy had exploited the drawbacks of the appendage. The pain had been more intense than anything he had experienced in his life. 

Other than feeling powerless to protect Y/N, anyway.

The image of her when they returned her to the cell, her beautiful face expressionless, bruised and smeared with dried blood had shattered his heart. He’d started screaming and thrashing…wanting to kill these men in the most painful, brutal ways he could imagine. The Winter Soldier was still very much a part of him. They wanted a monster…he was willing to give them their monster.

The sensation of her mind had faintly prickled the edges of his when he was being removed from their cell, telling him to trust her…so he knew she was still somewhat present, just as she said. They hadn’t taken all of her away from him, not yet. He was terrified of what they’d make him do to Y/N if they wiped him again. Hell, he’d happily let them have him… if they would only let her go. 

He had realized that he was falling in love with the stubborn, tough woman whom he had shared so much with through this nightmare. He would do anything to keep her safe…but he was powerless to do so.

The pinch of a needle in his arm had him thrashing again. A litany of insults poured from him, the foulest words he knew in every language he had learned. His words sounded slurred and incomprehensible, even to his own ears. A mouth guard was shoved between his jaws, tasting of familiar flavors. Blood, and the taste of her lips that he had come to know so well. 

Vicious satisfaction filled him; he had heard the nurses talking about how she’d nearly taken off a man’s finger. Fighting until the bitter end. “Soldat, it will be so wonderful to have you back…” A heavily accented voice hissed into his ear and he whipped his head to the side, smashing in the bastard’s nose. A hard fist slammed into his eye in response. “You have been around her too long. Your defiance ends today.”

Bucky recognized the low, thrumming hum and bit into the mouth guard reflexively. _”Fight it, you have to fight it you son of a bitch. Survive. Can’t break, they’ll make you hurt her.”_ Grim determination filled him as the first jolt of electricity shot through his head. It was like having a livewire pressed into every cell of his brain, pounding with every pulse of the machine. His fists clenched involuntarily and he screamed around the mouth guard. 

It wasn’t the old memories he was afraid of losing, it was the new ones. Ones he held on to with all his strength as he let out another strangled scream.


	18. I've Got You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I know the last chapter inspired a fair bit of angst and worry in everybody...but it had it's purpose in the story. 
> 
> So how does Bucky fare after being strapped down in the chair to be wiped again? Read below to find out!
> 
> The next chapter may be slightly delayed over my usual weekly or twice weekly publishing schedule, I will be out of town for vacation. :)

You were jolted awake, suddenly aware that you had succumbed to another dose of drugs and exhaustion. Confused, you peered around the room. No Bucky. _They_ had come for him...they still had him. A bloodcurdling shriek confirmed that notion and you sprang upwards only to be jerked back against the sweat-soaked scratchy sheet below you. The hard, paper-thin mattress did little to pad you against the hard metal below it.

You could only just make out the thrumming pulse of the machine that stole minds. Anguish and panic flooded your body; you couldn’t let them break him again. You just couldn’t. Straining against the cold metal restraints was going to get you nowhere, the assholes had added more around your thighs, shoulders and torso after you snapped one on your arm. Even Hannibal Lector had been given more freedom to move than you had presently. Maybe punching the Big Soviet Shithead had _not_ been one of your best ideas.

Tears ran down your face, tears of worry and tears of anger. Every bit of your defiance and wit vanished, replaced with that terrified girl you had been years ago when they first took you. That scared kid fought for dominance in your mind with the strong woman you were today, pushing you near a total breakdown. You bit down your lip to stifle your sobs. The blood in your mouth was warm and metallic as it flowed from the wound you created. And you bit down harder. The pain helped ground you, helped you maintain control.

Bucky had come to mean more than you were ready to admit openly to him…and the thought he might be lost to you was more than you could handle. Screaming for them to stop would do no good, and only expose the fact that you had fought off the effects of their mind-wiping procedures. _”They can do whatever they want to me, if they’d just leave him alone!! And WHERE is the team!? They have to know we are missing by now. They had to have gotten the UN to green light a rescue mission, right?! God help me, please…I wish I could shield him from this shit…"_

A shudder ran through you as the question formed in your mind. _”Can I? Can I get in his head and hold him together?”_ You’d never tried to do anything like that, go deep into his mind at any point unless he was willing. And you had never tried to use your abilities without being in close proximity to your target. His screaming rent your heart anew and made your decision. For James Buchanan Barnes, you’d do _anything._ No matter what the consequences were for you.

Trying to even your breathing, you steeled yourself for the pain. Pain from the machine, pain from Bucky that you would be unable to push aside once your mind was meshed fully with his. Carefully, you pressed outward with your consciousness, feeling for his. When you found it…it was all you could do not to scream. The trickle of blood from your lip turned into a flood as you ground down. If you made a sound, if they heard you…that would be the end for you both, when they realized you had deceived them. 

***

Bucky’s POV

He saw her face next to him, early morning sun filtering through her hair. The feel of her warm skin against his fingertips was so vivid, the rumpled sheets covered skin he sought to caress. Those reflective, beautiful eyes were closed and her breathing was deep and even with sleep. A brief sensation of contentment filled him; she was perfect. He leaned forward and peppered kisses all over her face and smiled against her flesh as she laughed groggily. “Bucky.” Gentle fingers brushed through his hair as he kissed her awake. Black flashed across the scene, like a yawning abyss swallowing those peaceful moments and he screamed again. 

The darkness shifted to reveal a memory of Sam giving him crap after their morning run with Steve; Sam always got left in the dust. “Listen man, you tried to kill me. A few times.” He held up three fingers. “You could at least let me win, just once.” Steve was smirking and let out a quiet laugh as Sam mock-lectured Bucky. 

“And _you_!” He whirled and pointed an accusatory finger at Cap. “I saved your life and you do me like this?! Out here out-runnin' cars, cheetahs, coyotes, the Flash...” Sam trailed off waving an annoyed hand as he leaned down to brace his hands on his knees and breathe. "Gonna start callin’ you Roadrunner." Surprisingly, Steve got that reference. He and Bucky had been watching modern cartoons late at night when they thought nobody was up to see. Clint had caught them, but sat down to watch with them and had become a fixture during the nights they indulged in their childish hobby. Rogers stared into Sam’s brown eyes quietly for a moment before grinning at him. “Meep Meep.” Bucky doubled over, howling in laughter at the expression on Wilson’s face. 

__

The humming, burning throb pulsed again and the scene was ripped to shreds. He was losing fragments of himself, of her, of everything. They had him in the chair far longer than they ever had before; Boris was exceptionally thorough and taking no chances. Still, Bucky fought. They’d have to kill him before he let them take away the last several years of his life, his freedom, his new life…before he’d let them take her from him. 

__

“Should he not be done?” “He is still conscious, still screaming…he isn’t done. Continue.” The machine pulsed louder, more powerfully and Bucky bit through the mouth guard. Sweat dripped from his face, slicked his chest. Every muscle in his body screamed in agony. He would pray for death, if he didn’t want revenge so badly. Death would be a welcome release if she wasn’t waiting on him, relying on him. 

__

Bright flashes and dark shadows taunted him. Hiis mind swam with memories as they floated to the surface, only to be fragmented. He clung to the pieces, bits to a puzzle he would put back together if he survived. 

__

An odd niggling sensation prickled the back of his skull, barely noticeable through the excruciating agony. The feeling was like pins and needles, like when blood flow was cut off to a body part too long. Bucky was barely aware until the pins and needles became daggers and knives, more forceful and he sensed panic. Y/N? He hadn’t felt her this way before, she had never been forceful. It couldn’t be her, she was far away anyways. He was losing his mind. Bucky tried to focus on his breathing between screams of pain, and hold on to the threads of his sanity, his conciousness. He heard conversations around him in Russian, the hum in the background pounded in time with the beat in his head. His heartbeat had even synced up to the goddamned thing. 

__

All of a sudden, he felt her. Y/N’s presence was overwhelming and determined. Her consciousness pressed against his own, making connections where they existed and forging new ones where none were to be found. It was a strange sensation, soft pressure ebbing and flowing like ocean waves. Her pain flitted through his consciousness with a vengeance. He felt her anguish in every muscle in his body followed by thoughts that definitely weren't his. Slowly and surely, their separate minds began to operate as one. Neuron to neuron, soul to soul... She filled the gaps they’d made in his mind with her own. It was soothing and unnerving, a feeling with a depth like nothing he had known with her previously. 

__

And then the assault on his mind ceased. The fragments he had been grasping at so desperately began to drift back into place in his memories, and he realized she was shielding his mind with her own. Taking the hurt meant for him. Protecting him. 

__

Awe filled him as he realized just how formidable her mind really was. The woman had reached out with her mind, located him, and connected their minds so completely that it was hard to tell where he ended and she began. She had been tormented, drugged repeatedly, wiped and survived it with minimal ill effects, and here she was…after just a few hours, subjecting herself to it again. Her mind still remained strong enough after all the abuse to make a stand...Hydra had no idea what they had created. An enemy they would regret. _”I’m here, I’ve got you Bucky. I’ve got you.”_ Even through the pain, her tenderness came through. So much warmth in such a dark, cold place. 

__

Hearing her in his mind, soothing him, knowing she was trying to keep him safe brought tears to his eyes. They rolled down his sweaty face as he stared up toward the ceiling. _”Why? What about you? What about-“_ _”Why? Because you matter to me. You're my Bucky…Let them think it worked. Pretend to comply, it might be our only chance…Comply…”_ Her thoughts went silent as she bore the brunt of the excruciating mental pain being inflicted upon her in his place. 

__


	19. You Can't Just Ignore The Accords!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here I am on vacation...still writing LOL. Originally, this was going to be 2 chapters and I combined it into one because it seemed to flow better that way. 
> 
> The team bickers and makes a decision. Hydra continues their fuckery...we all know how good they are at fuckery!
> 
> Tagged trigger warnings apply. No blood or violence in this one...but you know I got you later for all of that. ;) Kudos and comments always appreciated, enjoy! :)

Bucky forced himself into the perfect façade of mindless calm while the tech repaired the damage done to his arm. He was still strapped into the chair, shirtless and coated in a thin sheen of sweat. The guards had offered him water which he had refused to drink. Never before had anyone shown the slightest concern for him during his time with Hydra and it made him suspicious. Even the doctors had been more gentle after they’d shut the machine off. 

He was staring blankly at the wall ahead, mind running rapidly through every scenario that could play out in the next twenty-four hours. As soon as his arm was functional, he had his girl in his sights, and someone let their guard down…he had every intention of launching an assault.

Bucky had carefully listened to bits and pieces of discussions about the base, operations and more. People’s lips became lose when they believed someone to be mindless. This shithole was underground, hidden by a small village in Russia. The base was not large or heavily manned, but it was secure. Only two ways in or out…and nothing else around for a hundred miles outside of the town. They’d intentionally made the place remote, lessening the chances of discovery or a successful escape.

It was nothing less than a miracle that he managed to keep himself together, controlling his breathing and heartrate so not to alert his captors than anything was amiss. Y/N stayed with him, her mind connected to his by a dangerously thin thread. Twice in a twenty-four hour period she’d faced having her mind assaulted and she was weakened and exhausted. Bucky knew that whatever came next, he would be in the forefront of the fight. 

That was honestly the way he wanted it to be; he wanted her safely out of his way so he could lose control. He had been so hell bent on maintaining control and being a better man since regaining his freedom. But he was gonna put that on hold until after he had killed every single person in this freezing cold hell-hole. Bucky had never willingly tapped into the darkness that still stained his soul. But he was going to, and these bastards were going to be sorry. He may have regained his mind, and himself…but he was still capable and trained to kill in ways nobody else alive could.

A painful tingle along his shoulder had him flinching, in turn causing the female tech next to him to flinch and stare at him wide eyed. “Are you well?” She asked in heavily accented English. He stared at her blankly and then looked down at his arm, twitching his fingers. He was still strapped into the chair, unable to move much else. And growing increasingly suspicious at the almost polite behavior of the guards and techs since they’d turned the machine off.

The tech resumed her work and he ground his teeth as the nerves in his shoulder screamed. He felt a tingle of panic in the back of his mind and surreptitiously scanned the room just in time to see Y/N being brought in. Her face was carefully cast into a cold, blank mask, but he could sense her anxiety prickling at his consciousness.

Bucky watched her as she shuffled in on her own two feet, bound in no less than ten different ways. His nagging suspicion became full on paranoia as the two guards almost gently pushed her into a waiting chair and connected her restraints to the chair and floor. Her anxiety bloomed into barely controlled panic and he almost flinched at the sensation. They offered her water just as they had him, which she refused. One of the doctors pulled a stool in front of her and sat down. Bucky could feel her mind whirling as the man began to speak.

“Miss Y/L/N, it is good to see you whole after your recent experiences. You are quite lucky to be alive, the Avengers were quite brutal with you and your…companion.” He waved a hand towards Bucky who did his best to keep his face expressionless. Her eyes flicked up to meet his and he spoke to her mind through the faint thread connecting them. _”So that’s how they’re gonna play this. They think we can’t remember shit so they’re gonna spin us a story about how they’re the good guys, the Avengers are evil and everyone else is wrong…”_

Bucky felt her confusion turn to vicious amusement. _”Let them tell their story…we act the part until we can rip their asses off or someone shows up to help us rip their asses off.”_ He watched in amazement as she modeled her face into one of fearful confusion as she peered at the man seated on the stool in front of her. “I don’t understand. Why am I in chains? What happened…and where am I?” Bucky suppressed a snort when the man leaned forward and patted her knee comfortingly. “I’ll be happy to answer any questions you or Mr. Barnes have. I imagine this is going to be rather difficult for you both.”

***

Unsurprisingly, Hill’s request for an immediate meeting with the UN committee that oversaw requests from the Avengers had been denied. Apparently, nobody could be bothered on a weekend to concern themselves with what could become a very large threat very quickly. None of them seemed concerned about the consequences if nobody addressed the fact that Hydra had reclaimed two of the most deadly people in the world and was likely attempting to brainwash them.

And even more unsurprisingly, the news had not settled well with any of the Avengers.

“Do you have _any_ idea how many international laws you are going to break if you do this? The UN green-lit your mission to raid the base, but this is something else entirely.” Maria pinned Steve and then Tony with a glare, leaning back in her seat. Fury stood by, looking imposing as usual. But so far, he’d said nothing. “You people only just now cleared the ramifications of your little family feud…and you think invading RUSSIA is going to go smoothly?” Tony took a sip from the glass of amber liquid in his hand and looked at her with a bored expression. He was certain everyone expected him to agree with Maria Hill, by the glares he was receiving. 

Her attempt to cow him was sort of amusing. He lived with Pepper Potts. The woman who struck fear into the hearts of businessmen the world over. She had tamed Tony Stark, ran Stark Industries like a well-oiled machine…and even Thor afraid of her. He was romantically involved with _the_ most politely terrifying woman on the face of the planet. Maria Hill didn’t have what it took to intimidate him. “The Sokovia Accords are-“

“Bullshit.” Fury finished for her. “Always were, always will be.” Sam chimed in next. “Bureaucrats can’t even agree with each other in their _own_ countries. So what, we take a bunch that don’t speak the same language, stick ‘em in a big room together and expect them magically be able to come up with a working solution in a reasonable amount of time?” Thor shook his head and snorted disdainfully. “Midgardian politics.”

Natasha mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “international pissing contest” under her breath. Clint nodded in agreement. “We don’t have time to wait. Those Hydra scientists are nuttier than rat shit in a peanut factory; Barnes and Y/N are gonna be in a world of hurt if we don’t move fast.”

“You can’t just ignore the Accords!” 

“I intend to.” Wanda quipped. “I know firsthand what they are capable of, I am _not_ leaving anyone to their mercy. Especially not a friend.” Vision stepped closer to her and took her hand, silently confirming where he stood on the issue. The Scarlet Witch had been musing over happier times with her friend last night and this morning; he had comforted her while she angrily wiped away tears. She’d reminisced over all the weekend shopping trips and nights in with Natasha while the three of them drank wine and painted. Wanda had made up her mind the moment she had realized Y/N and Bucky were missing.

“If they succeed in robbing Miss Y/L/N and Sergeant Barnes of their minds, the entire world will bear the brunt of the consequences when Hydra turns them against their enemies.” Vision’s voice remained calm, but he was fearful of the repercussions no matter how this entire situation was resolved.

Maria looked at him and folded her arms. “Are you not concerned with the consequences for all of you if you act without authorization? I don’t want to leave them in enemy hands either, but-“

“So what do you think we should do, Hill? Just sit back and hope for the best?” Steve snapped. “We can’t afford to let Hydra turn them into weapons of mass destruction again. The world is at max capacity for those with me.” Banner told her, peering over the rim of his glasses. 

Bruce knew Steve had made up his mind before this meeting ever took place. This would not be the first time Steve Rogers turned himself into a one-man army for a rescue mission to save his best friend, if it even came to that. Nat had informed him as they lay awake in their bed the previous night that she was going, even if it meant trouble. And if Nat was going…so was he. He knew Thor wasn’t going to sit out a fight either and everyone else had indicated that they were ready to act. So that left Tony…Tony who had gotten them all collared in the first place.

Maria let out a long breath through her nose before replying. “Something needs to be done, but not by you people. Not without discussing it with the UN. They’ll throw all of you in prison. Again.” Well that was it, Captain America had finally had enough. “To hell with this, I’ll go alone then.” 

Everyone stared, stunned to hear him curse for the second time in as many days. He started to stomp off with Clint and Sam hot on his heels, speaking in low voices. The others looked at each other, silently asking the same question with their eyes. _“Suit up?”_ Stark set his glass down and sighed, trailing a few steps after Steve.

“Rogers, get your star-spangled ass back here. We aren’t gonna leave ‘em.” Tony called behind him.

Steve stopped and looked at the billionaire with a confused glance. Surely _TONY STARK_ of all people was not going to break the laws he so staunchly advocated for. Not to save two former Hydra agents, one of whom had been the instrument used to assassinate Howard and Maria Stark. It had taken no end of bribery, threats, arguments and therapy to even get him to allow Barnes in the tower. And even then, he’d insisted Shuri install a tracking device on him. Beyond that…for months, Bucky had been confined to the floor his room was on. 

Brown eyes met blue eyes as Stark walked towards Cap and leaned in towards him to keep his next words from being overheard. “They killed my parents, wrecked my tower, and kidnapped part of my team. One of which I am actually rather fond of.” Tony scratched at his beard and his eyes became more intense. “I love me some revenge and I’ll be damned if I’m not about to get it.” He clenched his fists at his side at the end of his declaration.

Sam shook his head, stunned. He was going to break the laws he’d ripped the Avengers apart to bring to fruition. He knew the billionaire would jump through hoops to rescue Y/N, but this was more than a little unprecedented. Tony, for all his stubbornness and bravado, was a caring man deep down. He was loyal and decent. He had a soft spot as large as his ego, hidden under that attitude and vibranium suit. Wilson knew his affection for Y/N (and guilt for not keeping her safe) had been a deciding factor here; Stark genuinely cared about the sharp-witted, sharper-tongued young woman. Idiot plan that put her in harm’s way in the first place notwithstanding.

Just like she had with everyone else, Y/N had taken the time to _really_ learn about Tony and his interests…she had won him over. Knowing Tony worked at all hours, she had spent hours in his lab just silently keeping him company when he couldn’t sleep. Eventually, the two had developed an Uncle/niece sort of relationship, bonding over music, caffeine and witty comments.

However, Barnes was still another story. Tony had been working through his problems and anger involving his parent’s death. He hadn’t exactly _absolved_ the former assassin for his role. Buuut he had come to see that situation was more complex than “the metal armed guy killed my parents”. Once the emotional roller coaster had slowed enough for him to hop off….Tony knew who was _really_ to blame for the murders of his parents. 

Wilson knew that, on some level, he understood that Bucky had not been responsible for his actions. He hoped, now that Barnes was involved with Y/N that maybe she could operate as a buffer between the two. The animosity that had existed previously between the two Avengers that had gone from enemies to lovers was not the only rivalry that plagued the team. Barnes and Stark had been just as much of a burden, though typically quieter about it.

Steve slowly trailed behind Tony back towards the waiting circle of Avengers. “FRIDAY? Call Lang. And the cat-man. We need all hands, er, paws on deck.” The accented, disembodied voice replied “Yes, Mr. Stark.”

“What about your bugboy?” Sam asked. “Peter? Oh can you imagine Barnes’ face to see _him_ again?” Tony was grinning as pulled out his phone and started texting, ignoring the glare from Hill. Steve rolled his eyes but kept his mouth shut. He’d rather have Bucky annoyed than brainwashed again, so he wasn’t about to interrupt Tony’s fun. 

“Done.” Stark shoved his phone back into his jeans pocket. “FRIDAY, you might wanna inform Pepper. Would rather she hear about this from me….You know how much she hates surprises that don’t involve chocolate, wine or things that sparkle.” 

“Of course, Mr. Stark. Would you like me to contact the legal team?” Clint snorted at about the same time as Nat. The fact Tony Stark had an entire team of lawyers ready to go to bat for him at the drop of a hat surprised nobody. “That should go without saying. Have them all on standby.” 

“Tony, you can’t do this-“ Maria was cut off as he held up a finger, picked up his glass and downed it. “The hell I can’t, I’m Iron man.”


	20. Bullshit. All of the Bullshit.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens! Some sneaky shit and some fluff, followed by some quality "WTF" moments. You know. My usual. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears! I know I am so late here on updates and I'm sorry about that. I went from vacation, to being sick, to walking away from a 3 year long relationship so my muse has been more than a little subdued. I decided to post this without editing so you guys could have it. My other fic will probably get it's next chapter some time next week. Also probably not edited lol.
> 
> Please forgive typos or plot holes...I will fix them later. Thank you for being patient and for reading, let me know what you think. <3

“Can you….let me up? To see him? I don’t remember much…but I remember him…” You asked softly, letting your voice crack as you trailed off.  Staring at Bucky with a wistful expression, his icy eyes softened almost imperceptibly when they met your own. Your wistful expression wasn’t feigned in the slightest, but so far…you’d played this Hydra shithead like a fiddle.  

People were always quick to see and believe what they wanted to, and as near as you could tell…he thought you believed him. You'd asked believable questions, played the role of scared female and generally let the bastard spin his tale while listening intently. Bucky’s faint mirth tickled the edge of your mind; he was enjoying watching you manipulate this prick, in spite of the situation. 

As sure as the sky was blue, this “Dr. Petrov” (you had doubted that was his real name the moment he introduced himself) had spun a story about how SHIELD and the Avengers had captured you and experimented on you before SHIELD’s downfall. The Avengers had held you after. (You’d almost laughed at that, knowing it was bullshit of the highest caliber.) They were blamed for Bucky’s metal arm, and for a bunch of other things that you’d tuned out. There was a fairly impassioned, obviously scripted spiel about how Hydra was working to set the world free, and they were here to help you.  

While half-assed listening…you’d noticed that Boris had not shown his face. And, that reading the people in this room, aside from Bucky, had become all but impossible. Something odd was going on here and you had the sneaking suspicion you were not going to be pleased with whatever it was. 

You were afraid they had managed to craft some device that blocked your interference and had finally put it to use. Or, they had managed to strip you of some of your hard-earned abilities. Which would be the absolute shits, either way. You hadn’t yet clued Bucky in on this particular facet of information, uncertain as to how he would react. You really didn’t need a rampaging Barnes giving you away.

“I’m sorry, Miss Y/L/N. For your safety and his, we need to keep you both restrained and separated until the next set of tests comes back and a psychologist evaluates you both.” His face looked genuinely remorseful, and if you hadn’t known better…you would have found it quite believable. 

You said nothing and nodded, dejected. "What is that chair?" You lifted your chin towards it. “The device Mr. Barnes is seated in helps remove painful memories. You were also subjected to this treatment. Both of you were so out of control when arrived…we had little choice.” Bucky’s irritation was palpable and you could see him struggling to maintain his poker face.

Your hands were still cuffed together but he had gone as far as to untether them from the arms of the hard, metal chair you were in so you could fiddle with your fingers. It took all your willpower not to flinch when Petrov reached over and patted your hands “kindly”. “The other procedures we will need to see to will not take long and will help to ensure that you both will recover fully from your experiences. When that is through, we will find some clean clothing and a meal for you both. Let you have some time to become reacquainted.” 

For the first time since you’d been brought in, Bucky spoke. His voice was raw and gritty, and it pained you to hear it. “So what are you gonna do with us?” Dr. Petrov turned on his stool and eyed the big man restrained in the leather and metal chair. “That is not my decision, Mr. Barnes. Though I am hopeful you will help us, your skills are valuable and you could both do much good.” 

Bucky watched you as you eyed the “doctor”. “It sounds like we don’t have much choice, Dr. Petrov. If we stay, we might be safe here. And if you turn us loose…we’ll be hunted.” You didn’t miss the gleam of triumph in the man’s eyes as he thought that they’d succeeded in regaining their assets. You were worried they’d attempt to instill trigger words even if you played along... and hoped that playing along would postpone that long enough for the two of you to rest and regain your strength. 

*** 

Oddly, true to his word…Dr. Petrov had ordered you and Bucky to be confined together in the same room after they’d drawn blood and a shrink had asked you each a million questions. Questions you had both answered with extreme caution, as to not give yourselves away. 

By the end, you were so tired you could barely keep your eyes open and were genuinely afraid you'd slip up and blow your cover. Evidently satisfied, the doctors had turned you over to the guards. Guards who had walked you into the small room at gunpoint before removing all of your restraints, seemingly pleased that you’d cooperated. 

Laid out on the beds were clean undergarments, soft gray pants and shirts with heavy wool socks. They’d not given you shoes, to your annoyance. A small shower, sink and toilet off to the side had you sighing with relief. Without a second thought, both of you had stripped out of your filthy clothing and beelined for the shower. 

There was little concern for raising suspicion with your familiarity; Petrov had infomed you of your "relationship" and you both claimed to somewhat remember one another. You'd dried yourselves in silence with the rough towels before tugging on the provided clothing. Bucky had helped you remove snarls from your hair with his fingers and you'd massaged the ache from his left shoulder. All the while trading silent encouragement through your mental connection.

The room was obviously monitored, and your meals had been pushed through a tiny slot in the door shortly after you'd finished washing up. The food was surprisingly decent; each of you received a large bowl of beef stew, some warm rolls with butter and a pitcher of water to share. You’d definitely eaten worse and doubted they would poison you after all of this, so you ate what they provided.

The room itself was also surprisingly decent, other than the fact you knew you were being watched. Bucky had taken in every detail of it the second he'd entered but you were more tired than you had ever remembered being and much had missed your attention initially. You'd explored a bit more thoroughly after your shower and meal. 

The floor had scratchy carpet, but it was clean. The lighting was adequate and the textured plaster walls were bright, crisp white. Two twin beds were made up with sheets made of white cotton. Small nightstands stood between the beds and each contained changes of clothing and a couple of books. If the door had not looked like a cell door, the room could have passed for one you might find in a hospital. Or a psychiatric ward. 

Seated on one of the beds, you both ate in silence. He finished before you, set his tray on the nightstand and idly leaned close enough that his shoulder brushed yours. You could feel his breath against your cheek as he looked at you. “Well. Whatdya think?” His voice was as soft and you looked up at him, surprised he had spoken at all. He was up to something and you decided to play along. “About?” “This.” He waved an arm around the room. “Think they are telling us everything?” 

_”What are you on about Buck?”_ You plucked up the last bite of one of your rolls, popped it into your mouth and sat your tray on the floor. You chewed it in silence, reaching for Bucky’s mind with your own. Yeah, it had definitely become harder to do after two rounds with that pulsing, mind-shredding nightmare and mind-numbing exhaustion. Your skull had begun to throb with the tell-tale pulse of a migraine...you needed sleep, the sooner the better. 

_”If we don’t talk about this, they’re gonna know somethin’ is up…It’s like charades. With less fun and more chance of being shot.”_

“I have no idea. This is all so confusing.” Bucky gingerly put his arm around your shoulders and you leaned into him. “I don’t remember hardly anything. Just you. A girl I think is my sister. A room with lots of books and plants. I wish I remembered more.” Letting out a sigh, he squeezed you a little tighter. “Besides you…I remember my mother. And a cold place I hated, but its fuzzy.” 

He was bullshitting, you were bullshitting and both of you knew the other was bullshitting. You sincerely hoped the eavesdroppers didn’t realize you were bullshitting.

“Whatever happened or happens…we are gonna stick together.” He murmured in your ear, pressing a kiss to your temple. The gentleness wasn’t just for show, and you could sense that. You turned toward him and buried your face into his neck, breathing in the warm, earthy scent of his skin. 

Gently, Bucky pulled you back against the mattress and arranged the covers over the two of you The bed was small, but that didn't much matter to you since the two of you slept so close anyway. _"Sleep doll, you need it. I'll stay awake and watch."_ You draped your arm over his chest and pressed your lips against his jawline in gratitude. 

The pain in your head eased slightly as the haze of sleep began to slip over your mind. His heart beat steadily against the underside of your arm and all you could think about as exhaustion overtook you was how much he meant to you. 

*** 

Waking next to Bucky was one of the most wonderful feelings, even given your situation. The migraine had dulled to an annoyong ache. You knew you'd only slept a few hours, but woke to him watching you with a softness in his eyes. You couldn't help but run your fingers up the side of his face. His closeness eased your mind and anxiety. Even though you were far from safe, you felt a sense of security with his arms around you. 

As long as he was with you and at your back, you felt certain you could survive anything. At least, you felt that way until the door swung open and was filled with a familiar, gigantic Russian. _”Shit.”_


	21. Rampage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter that is not technically fully edited. I felt bad for the delay with my uncooperative muse. 
> 
> The fight for your freedom, and lives, begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over 6,000 hits on this fic! I can't tell you guys how amazing that feels! Or how much I appreciate each and every one of you who took the time to read this and leave me kudos and comments. We're in the home stretch now...I think there will be about 3 more chapters, and an epilogue.

Part of the team was hunched down in the tree-line on a hill; the other half was spread out between the jet and on the far side of the village near a small, frozen creek. Sam was peering around the edge of a snow-dusted fir tree, dressed in a suit modified to withstand some of the cold. Not that it held off enough of the frigid wind for his taste. Between the strong wind and the frigid temperatures, Steve had suggested he stay grounded until absolutely necessary.

“It is crazy cold here, man. Why do people even _live_ somewhere like this!?” Sam growled under his breath, watching the small village in the distance.

“Because who wants to invade a region where your piss freezes before it hits the ground? It’s a good survival strategy, if you can adapt to the cold.” Nat responded. While the rest of them shivered so hard that their teeth rattled, she seemed unbothered.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Tweety, I feel fine.” Tony’s voice sounded metallic, but filled with mirth. He was still enjoying the fact he had shocked the entire team when he agreed to act without UN approval.

“Fuck off, Stark.” Wilson snapped and Thor chuckled. The Asgardian God didn’t seem phased by the frigid air either.

“Careful, you know that kind of language upsets America’s Sweetheart.” Tony teased.

“Dude are you kidding? He was spewing expletives like Barnes just a bit-“

“Gonna need you to keep your voice down, Sam. Hostile territory, remember?” Rogers grumbled.

“Why arrive in stealth if you intend to alert your enemies to your presence with your bickering? Do we have a plan?” T’challa hissed, annoyance giving his voice a harsh edge. He had become friendly with James Barnes during his stay in Wakanda, and was more concerned for the man than he would openly admit. 

“He does have a point…” Wanda interjected. She was near the frozen creek with Vision, behind a small overhang of rock.

“Listen. We’re gonna need to be extremely careful…building a super-secret base under a village? These guys really have no concern for collateral damage.” Clint’s voice crackled through the team’s ears. He remained in the jet, ready to blast something from the air or make an escape at a moment’s notice.

“Lemme tell you, heat signatures are easy to get out here, being that its colder than a well-digger’s ass. Two hundred and eighteen underground, just over a thousand in Who-ville.” Tony had been running additional recon from the air, using a Stark version of Wakandan cloaking technology to conceal his suit. “Place is locked up tighter than Fort Knox though. Gonna get messy to get inside."

“Buildings can be replaced, people can’t be. We need them out of the way and that means we need a distraction to get people out of the south end of the village…that’s where the most accessible entrance is.” Steve was ten feet from Sam, watching from behind another tree. He’d carefully reviewed the scans of the area en route to their destination, planning the extraction at Tony’s insistence.

“Oh! I can do it! Mr. Stark, I can do it! I’m great at distractions. This one time, in chemistry lab, I-“

“Parker. Dial it down, kid.”

“Actually, the kid is on to something. Let BugBoy and BugMan-“ “Antman!” “Spiderman, dude!” Rhodes sighed. “Whatever. I say we let them cause a distraction. Like that Bug-Zilla bullshit he pulled at the airport.”

“Hey, admit it. That was cool-“ Natasha cut Scott off. “Can we focus, please? Distraction. Whose providing it?”

Right as she finished her sentence, there was a muffled boom and a tremor shook the earth. Screams broke out in the village below and smoke drifted up from one of the buildings. People began running into the streets and to the east, away from the tremors. Shops and homes went dark a moment later.

“I’d say _THAT_ works for a distraction.” Sam pointed. “Yeah, that has Bucky written all over it...” Steve muttered, angling his shield in front of him before rising from his crouched position. “If you can fly, you're in the air until told otherwise. Make sure none of these jerks escape. Everyone else, with me." 

***

All hell had broken loose the very second Bucky set eyes on the big bastard who’d taken and taunted you both so mercilessly. He hadn’t even waited for the Hydra shits to make their next move. For Bucky, the game was over. And he had thrown the board and scattered the pieces, so to speak.

Even with dulled senses, you’d felt his rage boil over through the weak mental thread that connected you to him. The sensation of his emotions against your mind caused your head to pound and whirl; he was feeling so many things at once that you could scarcely comprehend it. Before you could stop him, he’d lunged out of bed, across the room and slammed his fist into the man’s ugly face. He flew back into the hallway and flat on his ass. 

“Bucky!” His name echoed in the room as you yelled it, the sound of gunfire from the guards in the hall reverberating just after. Ricocheting bullets made small pings as they bounced off of his vibranium arm and he let out a sound that could only be described as a roar.

You were on your feet and moving towards the door when a guard was flung through it, face completely caved in and throat crushed. Pained screaming erupted in the hallway, followed by the crash of a body through something. Staring at the man for a moment, you shuddered to think that had been a living person seconds before Bucky had gotten ahold of him. 

There was nothing calculated here, nothing methodical. This was all of his suffering over seven decades put into action. This was everything he had bottled up, every ounce of pain, every shred of loss, every hurt that he had ignored so that he could try to live his new life. His actions screamed revenge.

Alarms were ringing now, lights flashing in the hallways all over the base. Faint flickers of Bucky’s violent emotions slipping through your consciousness pulled you from your thoughts. Steeling yourself as best as you could against the onslaught of feelings from him, you yanked the body over and began taking stock of weapons you could use. It was evident to you by the screaming of your muscles and pounding in your head that you were still too weak for this shit. But since Buck had decided to start a fight, you had zero intention of letting him do it alone. 

The man whose face was now a bloody crater still had a .38 and a combat knife, so you snatched them and stuffed the knife into your sock before wading into the chaos in the hallway.

“Chaos” would have been a kind description of the destruction left in Bucky’s wake. Blood soaked through your socks as you edged down the hall, counting the bodies as you went. You tried not to focus on the condition of said bodies, heart aching for the sort of pain your lover had to have felt to be so out of control to do such things. Blood, gore and violence were nothing new to you. But this…this was something else entirely. And _he_ did it. _”Oh Bucky…oh god.”_

Tightening your grip on the .38 in your hands, you swallowed hard. The coppery tang of blood hung heavy in the cold, damp air. You wrenched your eyes away from a body in time to see one of the men on the floor, clearly not yet dead, reach for a weapon. Without hesitation, you fired a round into his head and kept going. It wasn’t hard to know where to go; Bucky was leaving behind one fucked up version of a bread-crumb trail.

***

Bucky was completely out of his head, but _just_ present enough to be aware of that fact. As soon as he’d seen that monster standing in the doorway, that’d been it. He wasn’t about to risk _her_ falling into that man’s hands again; it was now or never. A surge of protectiveness had flooded him just before he snapped, letting go and letting the tightly controlled rage and pain he kept hidden take control. The elation he felt slamming his metal fist into guards would have concerned him if he’d had the self-awareness to worry. He was vaguely aware of the carnage he was creating, of her voice calling to him but nothing was going to stop him now.

His prey had bolted down the long hallway, yelling orders for lockdown. Within seconds, alarms were blaring loud enough to make his ears ring. Armored doors had slid into place moments after the alarms started, sealing off vital areas. Unphased, Bucky made his way through the facility with deadly, ruthless efficiency.

A few bullets had grazed him here and there; a few men had managed to land a punch. They may as well have been punching a stone wall for all that he felt it; too much adrenaline coursed through him. A bus could have hit him, and he’d have brushed it off. He had one target, all of these others were just unfortunate obstacles.

That big, ugly psychopath was going to get his. As soon as he found him, anyway. The facility was larger than anticipated, and filled with tight turns and shadowy corners. The sealed doors were an additional pain in the ass. Bucky had told that bastard that he was going to tear his throat out and he intended to hunt him down and make good on his word. The new face of Hydra was going to regret fucking with James Buchanan Barnes and the people he cared for. 

Bucky reached the sealed control room and gazed around for a way to enter. His rational mind was still functioning well enough to know he needed to disable their security measures. The sealed doors were an obstacle to their escape. He vaguely recalled how Y/N had gotten the sealed doors at the tower open and applied a similar technique to the panel to the left of the control room door.

The moment the door slid to the side, he was met with armed resistance that he quickly dispatched. He couldn’t help the smirk that spread across his face as he wrecked anything he could get his hands on before starting in on disabling their security and communications. Destroying this place, killing their operatives...it was all cathartic in a way he had never experienced before.

***

The sound of an explosion made you flinch, wondering what Bucky had destroyed to cause it. A second muffled “boom” followed the first and your question was answered when the lights went out a moment later, leaving you in total darkness. As if _that_ was what you really needed when trying to escape people who would happily kill you if they couldn’t enslave you. “Shit. Really, Bucky?” As quietly as you could, you pressed your back to a wall. One solid surface between you and an unseen enemy was better than nothing.

Holding your breath, you listened for footsteps, rustling clothing and breathing…anything and everything that could give someone away. The sounds of distant fighting reached your ears, but you heard nothing nearby. You still felt like prey, but tried to rationalize that you felt that way because you were a sitting duck in the dark. Reaching out with your mind to sense your surroundings only made your head throb and your stomach threaten to empty itself. 

_”Oh, this is getting real old, real fast…”_. The murk surrounded you, heavy and foreboding for a few moments before the lights flickered back to life. Apparently, there was a generator somewhere.

You bit back a yelp when a man came sprinting around a corner and nearly ran face-first into you. Before you could think, you’d fired a round into him and then reached out and twisted his neck. There was a dull crack followed by the thud of his body on the ground. 

You were too engrossed in pilfering a better weapon that you didn’t notice the shadow slinking out of the doorway behind you.


End file.
